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Where are the Customers' Yachts?


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Table of Contents

Introduction xiii Jason Zweig Foreword to the 1995 Edition xxi Michael Lewis Introduction to the 1955 Bull Market Edition xxv 1 Introduction - "The Modest Cough of Minor Poet" 3 The Validity of Financial Predictions The Passion for Prophecy When the Bull jumped over the Moon II Financiers and Seers 23 Big Banking - Nice work if you can get it Some Assistant Tycoons The Fruit on the Blossom of Thought Wall Street Semantics Chartists The Pay The Difficulties of "Earning" Money An Art Without a Muse A Little Aptitude Test III Customers - That Hardy Breed 49 Varieties of Customers How to Get Customers Margin What to Do When the Dam Bursts Some Case Histories and a Diagnosis Churning Money as a Career IV Investment Trusts - Promises and Performance 67 Stop Making Your Own Mistakes Where is the Catch? The Hell-Paving Construction Company The Trouble with the "Best" Securities The $750,000 Bird By Way of Apology The Magical Investment Corporation V The Short Seller - He of the Black Heart 87 For the Defense A Different Defense With and Without Bears Bear Raiding VI Puts, Call, Straddles, and Gabble 105 What Options are (More or Less) In Defense of the Pure Gamble The Catch VII The "Good" Old Days and the "Great" Captains 117 The I.Q. of a Big Shot Speculation on Speculation A Brief Excursion into Probabilities Down will Come Baby "They" Manipulators A Bowl of Nickels VIII Investment - Many Questions and a Few Answers 135 Headaches of the Wealthy A Little Wonderful Advice Price and Value - Our Special Market Letter Cash as a Long-Term Investment Your Way of Life and the Basis Book IX Reform - Some Yeas and Nays 153 Was it Stolen or Did you Lose It? Nobody Loves a Specialist Horizons and Limits of Regulation Inconclusions About the Author 171

About the Author

Fred Schwed, Jr., was a professional trader who had the good sense to get out after losing a bundle (of mostly his own money) in the 1929 crash. Some years later, Schwed published a children's book titled Wacky, the Small Boy. Wacky became a bestseller, and Schwed went on to draw further on his experience in writing Where Are the Customers' Yachts? His publisher said of him, "Mr. Schwed has attended Lawrenceville and Princeton and has spent the last ten years on Wall Street. As a result, he knows everything there is to know about children."


"wonderful book" (Evening Standard, 24 August 2001)

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