Dr Sam is a child psychologist and has extensive experience of working closely on government policy, school approaches to bullying and anti-bullying strategies in over 3000 schools. She has also worked with many of the country's leading children's charities on welfare and safeguarding research, supported young people in court and run private child behaviour clinics in the UK, including London's Harley Street, working with children, young people and their families.
Bullying is a thorny subject that can make or break a school's
reputation. Reading aGirl Bullying' has given me a greater insight
into the issue and enabled me to look at my school's policies and
their effectiveness with fresh eyes. The book takes much more than
a reactive approach and offers suggestions and ideas for developing
and maintaining a supportive and healthy school community where
young people thrive. As a whole school community we will certainly
be working together to develop our policy and ensure it is embedded
in all that we do.Beverley Dandy, Head Teacher, Outwoods Primary
School, Southlands
Do girls bully differently from boys? Most parents and teachers
would say that they do - and probably describe a greater emphasis
on social manipulation and exclusion, a well as attacks on
self-esteem, than tends to be the case amongst young males. Here,
child psychologist Dr Sam examines these kinds of behaviours,
explains the narratives behind them, and suggests strategies that
could be implemented by schools for supporting victims and
perpetrators alike as they work to develop a culture in which
bullying of any kind simply isn't tolerated. The voices of real
young people are given a chance to be heard throughout; and the
author concludes her thoughtful overview with a clear call for
strong, collaborative leadership; pointing out that this is the
essential foundation for any effective anti-bullying policy.Teach
Secondary Magazine, Issue 4.8, November 2015
Dr Sam has a wealth of experience in responding to bullying and in
providing support, training and development to parents and those
working with young people. Her warmth, empathy and knowledge are
evident in Do I Look Bothered? This will be reassuring to readers
who are seeking to understand and tackle the complex and dark world
of bullying. Readers will be given confidence to tackle this
difficult subject. In Do I Look Bothered? Dr Sam takes a fresh
approach in focusing on girl bullying and analysing the experience
of both girls who are victims and those who are perpetrators.
Gender is a key factor in social interactions and it is helpful to
consider this in the context of bullying. It is also useful to
point the spotlight on girls because we know from the children and
young people contacting ChildLine that more than twice as many
girls were counselled by the helpline as boys about bullying and
online bullying. ChildLine has seen a very significant increase in
the number of girls talking about feeling excluded or isolated as a
result of being bullied. Confirming Dr Sam's approach, ChildLine
has also seen a large increase in concerns about cyberbullying. Do
I Look Bothered? addresses these issues in detail in relation to
girls, emphasising that young people do not differentiate between
the online and offline worlds. A strength of Do I Look Bothered? is
that the author relates the experience of bullying to child and
adolescent development. This provides important insights into why
bullying can have such a significant and devastating impact on the
well-being of those affected. Bullying can affect a child's
development, self-esteem, confidence, and capacity to form
relationships. Sadly, too many professionals and others working
with young people lack a good understanding of chid development and
Do I Look Bothered? will help meet a real need. Using case studies
and the results of consultations with children and young people, Dr
Sam offers a comprehensive approach to tackling bullying. She
rightly argues that bullying needs to be addressed holistically at
a number of different levels and demonstrates the vital need to be
proactive in preventing bullying happening in the first place. Dr
Sam provides detailed strategies based on placing the views and
experiences of the girls affected at the centre.Christopher Cloke,
Head of Safeguarding in Communities, NSPCC, Former Chair,
Anti-Bullying Alliance
Girl Bullying is a good book. Some may question why this singular
view on bullying is necessary in an age of equality of opportunity
and equal rights? The book goes straight to the heart of the
matter: girls practice and rehearse social relationships with an
intensity unmatched by your average boy. Personal and intimate
information exchanged in confidence and in friendship can then
become a weapon more brutal than a fist or a hammer. The author
also develops compelling imagery of girl-on-girl bullying through
the enrolment of others as akin to how a wolf pack operates. This
may seem extreme; in my opinion, it needs to be said. Bullying is
personally experienced and personally wounding. The psychological
damage profound, life-lasting and life-changing. The author goes on
to explore the impact of bullying when manipulation of friendship
seeps into cyberspace. The number of young females taking their
lives because of cyber-bullying is increasing: we must develop a
sharper and more nuanced view of the problem before we work towards
effective solutions. The book does a good job in this respect. A
call for the modelling of pro-social behaviours, building a school
or college community with built-in reporting structures, proactive
peer support, victim support and developing an ethos that breaks
the code of silence are all sound anti-bullying strategies. I also
agree wholeheartedly with the moral imperative that runs through
this book: some schools are frightened to exert their influence and
authority beyond the classroom, the playground or the school gate.
It is time for courageous open leadership to reduce the impact and
incidence of bullying on a well-being, life-course and achievement
of young people. This book will help.Marius Frank, Materials
Director, Achievement for All
I read the book in light of one of my doctoral students just
completed her dissertation on bullying and thus this book was a
nice timely read. My impressions are that this is a book that
should be in every school and guidance counselors office. Parents
would benefit from reading this book as it is readable and the
breadth of coverage is comprehensive without being overwhelming,
and the author captures the extant literature well. The stylistic
approach makes it useful for individual as well as group work on
the issues raised. I think there is a very wide audience appeal and
I mentioned it should be in schools as a resource.Sid Mitchell The
University of Maine
Recently, my school had training from Dr Sam on Girl Bullying much
of which is covered in her book. The ideas presented challenged
staffs perceptions of girl bullying and made people knowledgeable
of the multi layered elements of this issue. The impact since has
been quite incredible. This book, like the outstanding training,
will have an immediate impact on how you view girl bullying and how
you deal with it effectively as a members of staff in schools.
After the training, we re-evaluated our whole school approach to
how we deal with bullying and brought in all stake holders to be
part of this. As a result, we now have created a culture where all
stakeholders are not only aware of bullying, but are also doing
their part to prevent it from happening.Ben Griffin, Assistant Head
Teacher, The Queen Katherine School
The negative impact of bullying on both bully and victim is well
documented. It permeates their emotional states, academic progress
and future behaviours. The subtleties of girl bullying are rarely
unpacked in such detail. Dr Sam has got to the very heart of the
matter in this very practical book. As we strive towards a more
enlightened age and to understand the nuances of human behaviour
this gem is certain to guide us on our way. Thank you for the focus
this book brings.Stephen Cox, Managing Director, Osiris
Educational
This amazing book is an extraordinary and very much an easy read,
with its chapters and subheadings. It goes all out to highlight not
only the victims but the bullies themselves. Dr Sam has spent 18
years researching the impact of girl bullying and has given us
in-depth understanding of why it happens and what scars are left
with the victims. This book isn't about the authors view or just
her clinical input but the voices of 78 children, young people and
adults who participated in a project called aDo I Look Bothereda.
The book talks in depth about the alpha female, the role she holds
and all the behaviour traits associated. When bullying leads to
death, then concerns have to be raised as to safeguarding and
anti-bullying laws. There is also a chapter on bullying and the
law, which for those who don't know their legal position, will gain
so much information and what resources are available. I must say
that I was more aware of the tell tale signs after reading this
book but it also highlights strategies to change, she has not only
highlighted victims but also the bullies persona, so that we are
made more aware if our children aren bullying anyone. Dr Sam
highlights that parents/carers or people in responsible positions
can teach their children empathy, so that they understand
another''s hurt. Statistics are also provided on different effects
that bullying has had on individuals and also ratio of those who
have committed suicide due to girl bullying. Whilst reading this
book, I was very much surprised how high these ratios were. Parents
shouldn't be under the illusion that having some sort of trouble at
school is a part of growing up, but to be aware that when it
becomes ingrained as fear in the mind of a child, who then feels
worthless and isolated, it can have triggering psychological
effects which can create longterm damage, which can lead into
adulthood. Dr Sam has highlighted tell tale signs for adults to
know when their child is going through a turbulent time, which can
be identified in depression, self-harm, absences from school,
change of behaviour etcetera. Dr Sam goes on to described to a tee
in one sentence what bullying is Bullying is behaviour by an
individual or group, repeated over time, that intentionally hurts
another individual or group either physically or emotionallya. It
couldn't have been put in simpler terms. Dr Sam provides perfect
examples, of children who grow to be bullies and mistake it for
leadership skills. Thats why the role of parents or carers is
essential in providing guidance. She further touches upon every
angle to provide a good read and educate those who are in a
position to reduce any sort of bullying. Cyber bullying is the new
trend, but how can parents/careers monitor these.There is an in
depth chapter high lightening this.Jas Bassi, Clinical
Hypnotherapist
This book helps people working with girls to develop a toolbox of
proactive strategies to tackle bullying. It explores the world that
today's young women grow up in, and investigates the impact of
bullying on victims and perpetrators. TES - Hot Off The Press 23rd
October 2015
This book makes for urgent reading. Dr Sam dissects the issue of
girl bullying with chilling clarity and takes us from understanding
the issue through to her compelling rallying-cry for action. The
author is an expert who writes with extraordinary power in a style
that is as illuminating as it is readable. We finish the book
knowing that here is an issue in multiple guises that we need to
address. Girl Bullying is a book that all of us working in schools
should read and act upon.Geoff Barton, ASCL General Secretary
With the focus in all educational and training establishments on
aprevent' strategies to safeguard the welfare of learners from
grooming, radicalisation and bullying, this is an essential text
for all establishments of learning. Dr Sam has utilised her breadth
of skills and experience to hear the views and opinions of young
people who have experience as victims, perpetrators and bystanders
of bullying. Her analysis of Jodie's story gives the reader
practical insight and skills in analysing the wider picture, the
dynamics of power and the fall-out from confrontations. The damage
caused to and by girls as a result of bullying, in all its forms,
and the ramifications are discussed at length. Readers will find
the section on the way forward and systems to develop an effective
policy to reduce bullying particularly helpful. This is an
outstanding book which addresses a key issue within educational
establishments, the community and workplace.John T. Morris,
Director, JTM Educational Consultants
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