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Sexual Bloopers


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Table of Contents

CONTENTS FOREPLAY CHAPTER 1: THE BIRDS AND THE BEES: TALES FROM PUBERTY AND THE AGE OF INNOCENCE A Can in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Bush 20/20 Hindsight A Down-and-Dirty Mother's Day The Bee-Wildered Little Princess The Strung-Out Virgin CHAPTER 2: SEX AFTER SIXTY...'ENSURED': GETTING IT ON OVER THE HILL Granny and Her 'Goy' Friend The 'X' in Rx The Aging Tooth Fairy Par for the (Inter)Course Mr. Fix-It CHAPTER 3: PAGES FROM THE FAMILY ALBUM: THOSE MEMORABLE MOMENTS YOU'D RATHER FORGET Momma's Boy Cat's Got Yer Tongue The Off-Color Coloring Book Thanksgiving Leftovers Jingle Balls CHAPTER 4: PETS WILL BE PETS: THE UNTAMED SIDE OF ANIMAL BEHAVIOR My Unforgettable Cat-Astrophe A Little Birdie Told Them Mutt-Ternal Instincts A Shocking Tail Hot Dog! CHAPTER 5: PARTY OF ONE: WHEN MASTURBATION INVITES DISASTER Last Will and Testicle A Long Time Cumming Mom's X-Rated ZZZs Coming Clean The 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Squish CHAPTER 6: SCREWED, BUT GOOD: THE BIG 'WHOOPS' IN A LITTLE WHOOPEE A Man-'Maid' Disaster Cabin Fever Daddy's (Not So Innocent) Little Girl Conversation Interruptus Oops and the UPS Man CHAPTER 7: ONCE UPON A TRYST: WHEN THE STORY ENDS UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER The Buzz at Garden Gables Inn My (Not So) Secret Cross-Cuntry Affair From Here to Emergency Best (Un)Laid Plans Falling Head Over Heels CHAPTER 8: GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN: THE PRICE NICE GIRLS PAY FOR BEING NAUGHTY Getting Nailed Too Much of a Good Thing The Flaming Queen Finger-Lickin' Good Armed and Dangerous CHAPTER 9: PROPS AND FLOPS: SATISFACTION (AND PROBLEMS) GUARANTEED That Sinking Feeling Of Human Bondage Do Not Disturb Great X-pectations International Arrivals: United States of Erotica CHAPTER 10: FLIRTING WITH DISASTER: DANGEROUS LIAISONS AND OTHER NEAR-FATAL ATTRACTIONS The Wild, Wild West Class of '65 -- Ass of '95 Shower 'Head' Fiasco The (Not So) Great Outdoors Paradise Lost CLIMAX

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