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Home » Books » Health & Wellbeing » Family & Relationships » Marriage

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

By John Gottman

Elsewhere $31.92 $19.57   Save $12.35 (39%)
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Format: Paperback, 288 pages
Published In: United Kingdom, 05 October 2000
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication and more communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-praised Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute. Just as Masters and Johnson pioneered the study of human sexuality so Gottman has revolutionalized the study of marriage. Gottman has found, through questioning hundreds of couples in his 'love lab', that it only takes five minutes for him to predict - with 91 per cent accuracy - which couples will eventually divorce. He says marriages are threatened not by anger, as many popular therapies suggest, but by what he calls the real demons, 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse'- Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. In THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK Gottman guides couples on the path towards a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. His principles teach partners new and sometimes startling strategies for making a marriage work. Concentrating on Work, Children, Money, Sex and Stress, Gottman first helps couples focus on each other, paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that strung together make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK includes questionnaires and exercises already proven in Gottman's workshops.

Promotional Information

Reissued in a brand new cover style. This is a New York Times bestseller, and reprints regularly in Orion paperback. THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK contradicts the Mars-Venus school of relationship theory. Gottman's findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. John Gottman has revolutionised the study of marriage and this book is the culmination of his life's work. His groundbreaking research has featured on top US TV shows including Oprah, Good Morning America and 20/20. 'Gottman comes to this endeavour with the best qualifications; he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic' Newsweek. 'If the Clintons could have been given this book as a wedding present, things might have been different. In essence, it is a practical, accessible and effective guide to achieving a harmonious and long-lasting relationship' Irish Independent.

About the Author

John Gottman revolutionised the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples. He is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and co-founder and co-director of The Gottman Institute.

EAN: 9780752837260
ISBN: 0752837265
Publisher: Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Dimensions: 19.7 x 13.3 x 2.2 centimetres (0.28 kg)
Age Range: 15+ years
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3 review(s)
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Rahul Sood on
+2
After watching marriage-advice books catalyze the destruction of my first marriage, I did not think I would find myself reading any more of these books soon. But I heard an interview with Dr Gottman on National Public Radio and I was so impressed that I ran out, bought the book and read it. The thing that makes the book so good is that it is based on rigorous, scientific research (you know, set up an experiment, collect data, look for patterns in the data without inserting your own preconceptions and report it). Although I found that most of Dr. Gottman's findings were not particularly surprising, I still found the book to be extremely useful because out of the many possible things a person could do to improve their marriage, this book tells you which ones really matter. The book also gave me a good sense of the problems that are encountered in happy marriages. For example, about 60% of the conflicts that happily married couples have are unresolvable (perpetual). This fact alone would have helped my first marriage a lot considering all the good will that we burned up trying to solve problems that were not solvable. Dr Gottman found that happy couples accept that these problems are unresolvable and can learn to live with them without damaging their relationship. As an analogy he points out that people with bad elbows can live very rich and rewarding lives as long as they don't make playing tennis a central part of their lives. In summary this is a great book that people who don't like marriage advice books can enjoy (as well as those who do).
Ravi Dixit on
 
The author recommends an uncommon solution to a very common problem.
Dan Li on
-1
This book is a little boring to me. I stopped at half way. I don't recommend it.

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