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The Sales Survival Handbook


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Table of Contents

Foreword ix



Is Sales Right for You? (Quiz) 5

Sales Terms and Definitions 8

What to Expect: The Good, the Bad, and the Crazy 11

Coming to Terms: The Five Stages of Sales Grief 15

Picking the Right Company and Spotting Red Flags 17


Coming Out to Your Family and Friends As a Salesperson 23

The Different Types of Salespeople 25

The Different Types of Sales Managers 30

Comp Plans, Sandbagging, and How to Deal with Inconsistent Income 34

Getting Along with Your Coworkers in Sales 39

The Sales Diet 43

Mission Impossible: Dating While Working in Sales 47

Dealing with the Long Hours 50


Irrational Optimism: The Truth About How to Succeed in Sales 59

Leads and Why Most of Them Suck 63

How to Beg for Referrals 67

Cold-Calling 70

Business-to-Business Sales 75

Business-to-Consumer Sales 82

Door-to-Door Sales 90

How to Get Out of a Sales Slump Without Breaking the Law 96


The Different Types of Customers 105

Are Buyers Really Liars? 110

Building Rapport 114

Listening: The Most Important Sales Skill 118

Objections and How to Overcome Them Without Tears 122

Dealing with Rejection 132

Closing the Deal 136


What to Do/Not to Do After the Sale 145

Spending Your Commission Checks 150

Going from Hero to Zero 154

Sales Management: Getting Promoted 156

Sales Trainers and How to Spot the Con Men 161

How to Switch Sales Jobs 165

Rules for Quitting Your Sales Job 168

Writing Your Letter of Resignation 170

PSSD (Post-Sales Stress Disorder) 172


Acknowledgments 181

Notes 183

Index 185

About the Author

KEN KUPCHIK is the creator of Sales Humor, which boasts a combined Facebook, Linkedin, and Instagram audience of more than half-a-million overworked sales professionals in need of a laugh.


"This book is for anyone who is brave enough to wake up in the morning, drink an unnatural amount of caffeine, and live the life of a salesperson." -- Douglas Burdett, Host of The Marketing Book Podcast
"Imagine a sales book written by Jerry Seinfeld and you'll get a good idea of what this book is like." --PCB007
"The Sales Survival Handbook, the funniest sales book of all time." --Hubspot
"Selling is one of the highest pressure tasks that any businessman can undertake. That's why The Sales Survival Handbook is so timely and timeless" -Midwest Book Review

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