Introduction xii Part I Rules for Finding Love 1Rule 1 Be Yourself 4Rule 2 Get Over It Before You Get on with It 5Rule 3 You Won't Be Happy with a Partner Until You Can Be Happy on Your Own 8Rule 4 You'll Know Them When You Meet Them 10Rule 5 Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh 12Rule 6 Being Less than a Hundred Percent Attractive Is a Great Filter 14Rule 7 Don't Keep Making the Same Mistakes 16Rule 8 Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are) 18Rule 9 You Can't Change People 20Rule 10 Relationships Aren't About Sex 22Rule 11 You Should Know Someone Through All the Seasons Before You Make Any Major Decisions 24Rule 12 Don't Stay with Someone Who Doesn't Care 26Rule 13 If You Can't Trust Them, You Haven't Got a Relationship 28Rule 14 Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance) 30Rule 15 Don't Play Games 32Rule 16 Don't Paint New Partners with Old Brushes 34Rule 17 Make Sure You Both Have the Same Shared Goals 36Rule 18 You Can't Make Someone Love You 38Rule 19 Be Cruel to Be Kind 40 Part II Rules of Relationships 43Rule 20 Be Nice 46Rule 21 Be Together Because You Want to, Not Because You Need To 48Rule 22 Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves 50Rule 23 Look to Your Own Faults 52Rule 24 Be Honorable 54Rule 25 Put Each Other First 56Rule 26 Recognize the Signs 58Rule 27 Be a Hero--or a Heroine 60Rule 28 Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common 62Rule 29 Houston, We Have a Problem 64Rule 30 You Want to Do What? 66Rule 31 Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath 68Rule 32 Be the First to Say Sorry 70Rule 33 Don't Belittle Your Partner 72Rule 34 Don't Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There 74Rule 35 Don't Dump Responsibility on Your Partner 76Rule 36 Never Stop Trying to Be Attractive 78Rule 37 If You Can Say Anything Nice, Do 80Rule 38 Don't Try to Be Their Parent 82Rule 39 Don't Be a Nag 84Rule 40 If Little Things Annoy You, Say So--with Humor 86Rule 41 Go that Extra Step in Trying to Please Them 88Rule 42 Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleased to See You 90Rule 43 Know When to Listen and When to Act 92Rule 44 Let Them Know If You Don't Like Their Friends 94Rule 45 Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs 96Rule 46 Your Partner Is More Important than Your Kids 98Rule 47 Make Time for Romance 100Rule 48 Have a Passion for Your Life Together 102Rule 49 Share the Workload 104Rule 50 Trust the Other One to Do the Job 106Rule 51 Be Part of Their Life 108Rule 52 Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love 110Rule 53 Don't Control Them 112Rule 54 Listen to What They're Not Saying 114Rule 55 Most Everyday Arguments Are About Something Else 116Rule 56 Respect Privacy 118Rule 57 Treat Your Partner Better than Your Best Friend 120Rule 58 Don't Be Offended If They Want Some Space 122Rule 59 Men Like Flowers, Too 124Rule 60 Keep Your Finances Separate 126Rule 61 Contentment Is a High Aim 128Rule 62 Be Generous to Each Other Financially 130Rule 63 You Make a Choice Every Day 132Rule 64 Don't' Be a Martyr 134Rule 65 You Don't Both Have to Have the Same Rules 136Rule 66 Put Yourself in Their Shoes 138Rule 67 In-Laws Are Part of the Package 140Rule 68 Keep Talking 142 Part III Rules of Parting 145Rule 69 Listen to Your Own Internal Voice 148Rule 70 Recognize That It Takes Two 150Rule 71 Keep the Moral High Ground 152Rule 72 Don't Keep Reliving It Over and Over 154Rule 73 Leave the Kids Out of It 156 Part IV Rules for Family 159Rule 74 Don't Blame Your Parents 162Rule 75 Don't Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings 164Rule 76 Your Children Come Before You 166Rule 77 Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over 168Rule 78 Treat Them the Way You Believe Is Right, No Matter How They Treat You 170Rule 79 Don't Pressure Your Family Just Because You Can 172Rule 80 Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones 174Rule 81 Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home 176Rule 82 They Don't Have to Be the Same as You 178Rule 83 There's Always Stuff with Siblings 180Rule 84 Let Go of Your Role 182 Part V Rules of Friendship 185Rule 85 There Are No Rules 188Rule 86 Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger 190Rule 87 Only Have People in Your Life Who Make It Better, Not Worse 192Rule 88 If You're Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend 194Rule 89 Never Give Advice 196Rule 90 Find Friends Who Love the Truth 198Rule 91 Never Lend Money Unless You're Prepared to Write It Off 200Rule 92 If You Don't Like Their Partner, Tough 202Rule 93 When One Finger Points Forward, Three Point Back 204Rule 94 Friendships Change 206Rule 95 Know When to Let Go 208Rule 96 Bitterness Helps No One 210 Part VI Rules for Everyone 213Rule 97 Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion 216Rule 98 Love Equals Time 218Rule 99 The More You Give, the More You Get Back 220Rule 100 Other People Are Where It's At 222
Love matters. Whether it's the romantic kind or the emotional bond between you and family or friends. Indeed latest research suggests that those who love and are loved are significantly more likely to be alive in 10 years time than those without love in their lives. Love makes us happy, and the happier we are, the longer it seems we tend to live. So, why is it that some people find relationships so easy? We all know the kind of person, married forever, connected with their family, and strong friendships that have stood the test of time from all stages of life. The people who make friends easily, who have someone utterly devoted to them and for whom many would do anything. What do they know and do that the rest of us could learn from? That's what you'll find in this book. If you study people who are so good at relationships you discover it's not about their personality or gender or how self sacrificing they are. Those who are great in all relationships usually do have to work at it. The secret is that they know exactly where to put their efforts. They know the Rules of Love. In this book these Rules are revealed, so you too can benefit from the simple principles of forming and sustaining strong, enduring and ultimately, life enhancing relationships.
Richard Templar is the author of international bestsellers The Rules of Money, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Life, and The Rules of Parenting.