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A computer programmer by profession, Mark Smith has spent 12 years in Japan. His main qualification for writing this book is that most of his friends seem to be Japanese 4 year olds. Despite having a black belt in the martial art of Aikido, he is still bullied by these friends, and also by his wife, and two half-Japanese children, both toddlers. His dream is to divide his time between Tokyo and New Zealand, but he doesn't really like flying.