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The Putdowns and Insults Bible
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We've all done it, and we've all been on the receiving end. Somewhere down the evolutionary line, it has been programmed it into us that taunts and insults will make us a better person. It's not true of course, but somehow, even the most pious of us cannot occasionally help it. So, with such an inbuilt drive to appear top dog, we may as well get brush up and do it properly. Whether you're looking for ammunition to use, ideas to stock up on, or stories from other underdogs, bitches and cruel tongues to heal a hurt ego, this is the book. Sharpen your claws and your wit simultaneously, and dive in - there's something for everyone! For example: Mark Twain - "Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since met her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." Simon Cowell - "That performance was as relevant as a cat turning up for Crufts." 'This boy is every inch an idiot. Luckily, though, he's not very tall' (Norman Wisdom's school report). Country Song titles that say it all - "You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly"; "I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cos I'm Afraid She'd Win". This work also offers an A to Z of insults to save up and use at will: S for Sex: "She's a lot like train tracks - been laid across the country." The book is also the fourth in a series of 'Bibles' in this format. The series also includes "The Foodies & Scoffers Bible", "The Crap Family Christmas Bible" and "The Break-Up Bible".
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Table of Contents

1. Quiz 2. The Charge Of The Spite Brigade - Classic Quotes - Modern Celebrity Quotes - They're So Mean They Get A Whole List 3. We are Family - Parental Put Downs - The Kids Strike Back 4. The Whole World's A Stage - Say It In A Song - Fillm And Theatre Reviews - Heckler Stoppers - Great Sit-Com Lines 5. Did They Really Say That - Inadvertent Put-Downs - Backhanded Compliments - Kindly Put-Downs 6. The Word On The Street - Slang and Colloquial - Overheard - Website Insults 7. After The Love Has Gone - Dating Insults - Parting Shots 8. School Daze - School Reports of The Rich And Famous - School Reports of The Non-Famous 9. The World of Work - Job Rejections - Stories From The Workplace 10. Love Thy Neighbour - Global Observations - International Curses 11. Political - George W Bush - General 12. Sporting 13. New To The Language 14. A - Z of Putdowns

About the Author

Ruth Graham's first career was as a stand-up comic, where the early days of mass-rejection helped shape the tongue-in-cheek wry outlook that now defines her writing. Her other exploits have included everything from working on cruise liners, to songwriting in London, to launching and editing her own glossy interiors magazine. Despite all this, she was deemed a constant disappointment by her now-departed, very traditional Yorkshire parents, whose classic 'encouragement' included the lines, 'Well, you can't be happy all your life' and 'The sooner you learn to cook mince properly, the sooner you'll find a husband'. Despite such sage advice, Ruth preferred to fall back on a variety of interesting careers, life experiences and even more interesting men, Now in her early 40s, she's old enough to not care what the neighbours think, but young enough to still try and breakdance at parties. Now a full-time writer and part-time bellydance teacher, her motto is 'it's never too late to be a late starter'!

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