Dr Ed Tronick is a developmental and clinical psychologist, and the
co-founder of the Child Development Unit at Boston Children’s
Hospital and the Touchpoints program. He is a distinguished
professor of psychology and director of the Infant-Parent Mental
Health program at the University of Massachusetts Boston, and a
research associate in newborn medicine at Harvard Medical
School.
Dr Claudia M. Gold is a paediatrician and writer. She has practised
general and behavioural paediatrics for 25 years, and specialises
in early childhood mental health. She is the author of several
books, including Keeping Your Child in Mind and The Silenced Child.
‘This profoundly wise book sets out how the dance of connection and
disconnection with attachment figures molds our nervous system, our
emotional lives, our sense of self, and our ability to dance in
tune with others. When we miss each other is when we truly learn to
turn, reach, and connect. There are no slick tips for perfect
relationships with your kids or lovers here. Just a deep
understanding of how the imperfections of life and love can make us
strong.’
*Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight*
‘In this fabulous book, which everyone must own, Ed Tronick and
Claudia Gold give all of us a scientifically-based compass for
negotiating the messiness of social interaction. Rather than
searching for perfection, in this book they teach us that it is the
messiness and the mistakes we inevitably make as parents, friends,
and lovers, and the repair of our mistakes that really matters. For
in repair we ‘co-create a new meaning,’ and relationships thrive
and proceed, full of life and good enough. Get this book!’
*John Gottman, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage
Work*
‘Lively and riveting — Human connections have the power to heal by
engaging us in a new set of moment-to-moment mismatches ... as long
as we are open to repair and reconnect.’
*Dr Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the
Score*
‘A brilliant overview of our contemporary relational landscape that
argues that what people — both children and adults — need most is
the messiness of real relationships, with their conflicts, partial
resolutions, and imperfect efforts at repair. In trying to make
these things work, we practice attention, connection, and
listening. We practice our humanity. We learn to put technology in
its place. A book for thinking and for practical action. A
must-read.’
*Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together: why we expect more
from technology*
‘Our relationships with attachment figures are often innately
‘messy’ and filled with discord as mismatches rupture the attuned,
resonant alignments that are possible in our relational world. The
reconnection established in the mismatch-repair process illuminated
in this important work enables us to develop resilience in the face
of the inevitable disconnections in these important self-defining
close connections in our lives. This wise book will help many to
reframe such ruptures as opportunities rather than troublesome
burdens, painful yet important challenges that can actually afford
us the interactive reconnection experiences that serve as the
foundation for flourishing in life.’
*Dr Daniel J. Siegel, author of Mindsight, and clinical
professor at UCLA School of Medicine*
‘The Power of Discord reveals the secrets to forming deep, lasting,
trusting relationships; developing resilience in times of stress
and trauma; and nourishing a solid sense of yourself in the world.
The book, which naturally begins with the parent-child
relationship, offers the key to unlocking better connections with
romantic partners, family, friends and colleagues alike.’
*The Berkshire Edge*
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