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The Monogamy Gap


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Table of Contents

Part 1: Introduction Chapter 1: Overview of the Research Chapter 2: Developing a Critique of Monogamy Chapter 3: About the Study Part 2: Men, Attraction, and Love Chapter 4: The Hardening and Softening of Men Chapter 5: The Science of Sexual Attraction Chapter 6: The Development of Romantic Relationships Part 3: Monogamy and its Discontents Chapter 7: Categorizing Monogamy Types Chapter 8: Monogamism Chapter 9: The Monogamy Gap Chapter 10: Costs of Monogamism Chapter 11: Jealousy Chapter 12: Liberation from Monogamous Missionary Sex Part 4: The Reality of Cheating Chapter 13: Prevalence of Cheating Chapter 14: Spontaneous Cheating Chapter 15: Cheating Out of Love Chapter 16: Counter Currents Chapter 17: Conclusions

About the Author

Professor Eric Anderson is an American sociologist at the University of Winchester. He is known for his research on sex, gender, and sport. Anderson is also the author of eight books, many of which document the development of pro-gay attitudes in young, heterosexual men. His work examines how this changing culture enables heterosexual men to show love and affection more openly toward their male peers, and how openly gay male athletes are thriving in sport.


"Sociologist Eric Anderson asks troubling, controversial questions, and his answers might well unsettle and challenge readers. To Anderson, monogamy is a bankrupt illusion foisted on young men and women, which falsely promises that once they find true love, they will no longer experience ubiquitous sexual boredom and the desire to cheat. Leading the reader on an unpredictable journey, Anderson explores a number of related issues, such as why one should be 'happy' when a boyfriend/girlfriend is having 'hot sex' with another person; why gay boys masturbate more; and why straight men are becoming desensitized to gay sex. Anderson closes with his solution to negotiating sexual and romantic urges: a sexually promiscuous, emotionally monogamous relationship." - Ritch C. Savin-Williams, Chair and Professor of Human Development, and Director, Sex and Gender Lab, Cornell University "You may or may not agree with Eric Anderson's thesis, but The Monogamy Gap is a hard book to ignore. Sometimes somber, sometimes sassy, always engaging, Anderson is not afraid to challenge conventional wisdom about the ills of contemporary relationships. Monogamy, not infidelity, he argues, is the problem. Mixing scientific reports, imaginative sociological theorizing, and original interviews with gay and straight men, The Monogamy Gap is the most compassionate account to date of men's struggle to reconcile their lives with cultural expectations for sexual fidelity." - Judith Treas, Professor of Sociology, University of California, Irvine ''The Monogamy Gap is a fascinating addition to the literature on monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. Weaving together sociological and psychological theory and research with the accounts of men, the book proposes insightful, original, and provocative understandings of cheating behavior. As always, Eric Anderson writes in a way that is both engaging and well-informed, making this book a delight to read. The Monogamy Gap is a must-have for every serious scholar of relationships, as well as for all those who are fascinated by the societal shifts that we are currently undergoing in relation to love, sex, and gender." - Meg Barker, Lecturer in Psychology, The Open University; co-author of Understanding Non-Monogamies; and editor of Psychology & Sexuality

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