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Making Hostile Words Harmless


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Table of Contents

Chapter 1. Difficult People and the Art of Aikido. The Martial Arts-East Does Not Meet West. Verbal Arts; Instinctual Reactions. Turning The Spotlight. Response vs. Reaction. Chapter 2. Acting As If-The Art Of Confirming. The Art of Agreement. Speak It As You Want It. Counting on Compliments. Drama Is Worth a Thousand Words. Reverse Resistance with Psychology. Exercise; All Purpose Confirmations. Chapter 3. Asking Questions-The Art Of Inquiry. Dialogues. Pseudo Questions. Asking Questions to Avoid Assumptions. Asking Hidden Questions to Promote Contemplation. The Spotlight Effect. Asking Questions to Prevent Prying. Asking Questions to Evoke Inquiry. Asking Questions that Give People a False Choice. Asking Questions that Predict Success. Exercise; All Purpose Questions. Chapter 4. Active Listening-The Art Of Understanding. How Listening Became "Active;". Obedient Listening. The Amazing Mirror Mind. Therapeutic Triangles-Reflect Harsh Words Away from Targets. Narrating Behavior and Diction. Naming the Game. Filial Therapy Narrations. Refinement of Active Listening. Active Listening Add-ons. Active Listening for Empowerment. Exercise. The Advantages of Active Listening. Chapter 5. Hypnosis & Humor-The Art Of Evoking. Modern Hypnotherapy. Hypnotic Basics in the Verbal Arts. Advanced Hypnotic Patterns. Exercise. The Comedy Connection. Chapter 6. Taking a Stand by Opposing. The I-Position. Taking a Stand Effortlessly. Disagreeing Effortlessly. Handling a Backlash. Buber Takes a Stand. Chapter 7. Teaching Positive Speaking To Clients. Positive Speaking Training Steps. Aikido Cross Training. Positive Speaking for Inter-Personal Issues. Interference from Inner Bullies. The Limits of Positive Speaking. The Goals of Positive Speaking. Maintaining Balance with "High Wire Families". Chapter 8. Workshops on Positive Speaking. Possible Titles. Program Description. Learning Objectives. Materials. Scripted Program Outline. Quiz. Feedback Form. Handout. Quiz Answers. Appendix I. Verbal Arts Terms. Appendix II. All Purpose, One-Liners. Appendix III. Psychotherapy Approaches Referenced in this Text. References. Index.

About the Author

Kate Cohen-Posey is Director of Psychiatric & Psychological Services in Lakeland, Florida. She is the author of Empowering Dialogues Within: A Workbook for Helping Professionals and Their Clients, Brief Therapy Client Handouts (both published by Wiley) and How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies. A dynamic presenter, she has a passion for helping laypeople and professionals discover grace in life's grueling moments.

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