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Stewart Lee calls it "The funniest book I've ever read". You may hate it.

Table of Contents

1. The Burst Sofa of Pulp

2. Weird Tales

Opening joke * Santa Fe * hit by a planet * Astounding * Mars attacks * `Wall Swordfish Still Alive' * light on the surface * crappy story

3. The Incredible Fender

`The Silver Radio' * And Your Point Is? * Rouch and Herzog * food for the moon * bending words the wrong way

4. Angel or Sardine-Lint and the Beats

Hiding in Columbia * Campbell * Kerouac * Benzedrine * trying too hard * appearances * Gramajo * spinal pheasants * first shot out of the box * typography cracked the voices of silence * Roswell

5. `Monstrous Poet Alarms Shoppers'

The joker * covers and headlines * escape artist * The Day Maggots Sing * smashing the world * this bad reputation * `Rosebud Investment'

6. `I Can Take Anything': The Pulp Life

High pulp * Perry Street *Baffling Belly Stories * a crystalline associate * Alvarez * toasting the Bread of Shame * release the tigers

7. Jelly Result

Rain upon travelers * Eterani * Valac infects his punishment and backs it up into the community * the coining of Fanny Barberra * shallow and deep vanishing * like a cat * Slogan Love * relief disguised as penance * circus of glossolalia * Maurice Girodias

8. Sparking Mad

Critical reaction * Nose Furnace * Rouch rumble * reverse template * Cheerful When Blamed * coast to coast * for the birds * everything is plentiful here

9. Turn Me into a Parrot

Sigil train * alien designs * quantum punchline * craw wafers * bug hunt * first lines * `we are imperilled' * tough

10. Catty and the Major

False cartoon * everything * Can I see your skull, mister? * the cat and the burnt guy * exegesis * journeyman reavers * the Kecksburg Testicle * hit and run * casting out the self * Herzog breakdown

11. `Debate This, You Mother'-Smashing the Reader in Prepare to Learn

Absorbing all consequence * Vacuum as Policy * hyperlife * too many novelties in his nobility * America Immaculata * pragments * honoured and scorned * Paradox results from artificial boundaries

12. Carnagio

Lint Trek * originality still abhorred * Consolation Playhouse * carnagio * Thrown stones were once stars * The Converse Bell * Now whatever you do don't touch that one * The Coffin Was Labelled Benjy the Bear

13. `My Goblin Hell'

Death of Agent Baines * three fifths of a mile in three months * vestigial tail * Just One Honest Statement * sorcerer's apprentice * `Or the mosquito gets it' * Dragons of Aggrazar

14. Hollywood Hack

Banish m'Colleagues * The Gloom Is Blinding * Fanny fire * Kiss Me, Mister Patton * mannered and epicene * ghost of corporate future * five curses

15. Rigor Mortis: Lint's JFK book

Ingersoll * Magic Bullet * accident or frivolity * Flaming Energy Clown * Umbrella man * festival of sadness * knife attack

16. The `Fantastic Lemon' Experience

The Hours of Betty Carbon * Lint wedges * C. H. Hinton * infinite intrusion * The Stupid Conversation * unlikely at best * a new category of sight * going underground

17. `Lint Is Dead'

Felix Arkwitch * where an amateur can grin * dog attack * crown of gears * eye trumpet * into the minus? * how about another one * unscrambling

18. Graphic Equalizer: The Caterer

Against advice * fogbound motivations * Hoston Pete * diatribe * Mouse World * everything is weird * `I won't prevent it'

19. The World-It's Not Big and It's Not Clever

Blast of truth * drab Tangier * psychonauts * Elsa Carnesky * painted Zulu coconuts * a Hindu cigarette * domestic epic anode * Where are the clams? * colour nodes * London Fanatique * nous sommes assis sur un volcan * dust devil

20. Swaying Fast Is Rocking

Lint rock * The Energy Draining Church Bazaar * flies * trun * strange incidents * a policy of terrorizing * bloat * cable cheese * Unsmile * The Prophecies * on reading new books * explorers are never suspicious

21. Nose Furnace and Other Deaths

Suction eel * satan filters * factoids * the Insufferable Banyolar * Arkwitch the Movie * Aquadog * Platypus Payback * where is Durutti? * The Caterer in limbo

22. Arkwitch

Thousand Mile Gun * the slug correspondence * mind- mapping * satire as sacrament * sheer visual quantity evokes the magical resonance of the tribal horde * behind the text

23. Easy Prophecy

Oppressive smithereens * gently meddling with the future * prophecy humour * America's make-believe * `Reality is the thing that doesn't need to be asserted' * Nous sentant des ailes * cramming

24. Clowns and Locusts

Soylent scream * garnet * acceleration * UltraLint * The Jarkman * 'cause I'm done dead already * UFO flap

25. In Person

`Gigantic pleasure rockets' * backpackers * `Dance to feedback old man' * Silent is the city that applauds integrity * real pumped * god trying to be funny * acolytes * The truth is never wrong * scorpion globe paperweights * consensus

26. Lint Is Dead II-Rumours, Clues, and Lost Works

Stoked * preferably in velvet * liars invade verdant Eden * sightings * Jellypressure * the subtle game * cults and fan clubs * the future as a statue in a fountain * Lint's dreamers

27. The Man Who Gave Birth to His Arse

Saddled * scrubbing tombstones * don't thank the shark * the claymore principle of creation * savouring regret * The Vermilion Equation * intravenous cheats * for I am the way * new colours

Lint quotations




List of Illustrations


About the Author

Steve Aylett is the prolific author of Slaughtermatic, Atom, Toxicology, The Crime Studio, Shamanspace, Only an Alligator, The Velocity Gospel, Dummyland, Karloff's Circus, Bigot Hall, the Tao Te Jinx, The Inflatable Volunteer and Fain the Sorcerer.


'Lint: in Steve Aylett, this clearly much misunderstood writer has found his Boswell, his Gilchrist, his Ackroyd. A cultural unearthing to equal those of Philip K Dick or Harry Stephen Keeler, this has to be the literary biography of the year. Highly recommended.' - ALAN MOORE, creator of "Watchmen" and "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" 'Steve Aylett is the most original voice in the literary scene. He is quietly changing the rules and bringing fresh life to contemporary literature. Give him your attention. He will reward you enormously - and make you laugh like a drain.' - MICHAEL MOORCOCK 'More fun than any other mock author biography on the face of this or any other planet' - Bookmunch

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