Stewart Lee calls it "The funniest book I've ever read". You
may hate it.
1. The Burst Sofa of Pulp2. Weird TalesOpening joke * Santa Fe * hit by a planet * Astounding * Mars attacks * `Wall Swordfish Still Alive' * light on the surface * crappy story3. The Incredible Fender`The Silver Radio' * And Your Point Is? * Rouch and Herzog * food for the moon * bending words the wrong way4. Angel or Sardine-Lint and the BeatsHiding in Columbia * Campbell * Kerouac * Benzedrine * trying too hard * appearances * Gramajo * spinal pheasants * first shot out of the box * typography cracked the voices of silence * Roswell5. `Monstrous Poet Alarms Shoppers'The joker * covers and headlines * escape artist * The Day Maggots Sing * smashing the world * this bad reputation * `Rosebud Investment'6. `I Can Take Anything': The Pulp LifeHigh pulp * Perry Street *Baffling Belly Stories * a crystalline associate * Alvarez * toasting the Bread of Shame * release the tigers7. Jelly ResultRain upon travelers * Eterani * Valac infects his punishment and backs it up into the community * the coining of Fanny Barberra * shallow and deep vanishing * like a cat * Slogan Love * relief disguised as penance * circus of glossolalia * Maurice Girodias8. Sparking MadCritical reaction * Nose Furnace * Rouch rumble * reverse template * Cheerful When Blamed * coast to coast * for the birds * everything is plentiful here9. Turn Me into a ParrotSigil train * alien designs * quantum punchline * craw wafers * bug hunt * first lines * `we are imperilled' * tough10. Catty and the MajorFalse cartoon * everything * Can I see your skull, mister? * the cat and the burnt guy * exegesis * journeyman reavers * the Kecksburg Testicle * hit and run * casting out the self * Herzog breakdown11. `Debate This, You Mother'-Smashing the Reader in Prepare to LearnAbsorbing all consequence * Vacuum as Policy * hyperlife * too many novelties in his nobility * America Immaculata * pragments * honoured and scorned * Paradox results from artificial boundaries12. CarnagioLint Trek * originality still abhorred * Consolation Playhouse * carnagio * Thrown stones were once stars * The Converse Bell * Now whatever you do don't touch that one * The Coffin Was Labelled Benjy the Bear13. `My Goblin Hell'Death of Agent Baines * three fifths of a mile in three months * vestigial tail * Just One Honest Statement * sorcerer's apprentice * `Or the mosquito gets it' * Dragons of Aggrazar14. Hollywood Hack Banish m'Colleagues * The Gloom Is Blinding * Fanny fire * Kiss Me, Mister Patton * mannered and epicene * ghost of corporate future * five curses15. Rigor Mortis: Lint's JFK bookIngersoll * Magic Bullet * accident or frivolity * Flaming Energy Clown * Umbrella man * festival of sadness * knife attack16. The `Fantastic Lemon' Experience The Hours of Betty Carbon * Lint wedges * C. H. Hinton * infinite intrusion * The Stupid Conversation * unlikely at best * a new category of sight * going underground17. `Lint Is Dead' Felix Arkwitch * where an amateur can grin * dog attack * crown of gears * eye trumpet * into the minus? * how about another one * unscrambling18. Graphic Equalizer: The CatererAgainst advice * fogbound motivations * Hoston Pete * diatribe * Mouse World * everything is weird * `I won't prevent it'19. The World-It's Not Big and It's Not Clever Blast of truth * drab Tangier * psychonauts * Elsa Carnesky * painted Zulu coconuts * a Hindu cigarette * domestic epic anode * Where are the clams? * colour nodes * London Fanatique * nous sommes assis sur un volcan * dust devil20. Swaying Fast Is RockingLint rock * The Energy Draining Church Bazaar * flies * trun * strange incidents * a policy of terrorizing * bloat * cable cheese * Unsmile * The Prophecies * on reading new books * explorers are never suspicious21. Nose Furnace and Other DeathsSuction eel * satan filters * factoids * the Insufferable Banyolar * Arkwitch the Movie * Aquadog * Platypus Payback * where is Durutti? * The Caterer in limbo22. ArkwitchThousand Mile Gun * the slug correspondence * mind- mapping * satire as sacrament * sheer visual quantity evokes the magical resonance of the tribal horde * behind the text23. Easy ProphecyOppressive smithereens * gently meddling with the future * prophecy humour * America's make-believe * `Reality is the thing that doesn't need to be asserted' * Nous sentant des ailes * cramming24. Clowns and LocustsSoylent scream * garnet * acceleration * UltraLint * The Jarkman * 'cause I'm done dead already * UFO flap25. In Person`Gigantic pleasure rockets' * backpackers * `Dance to feedback old man' * Silent is the city that applauds integrity * real pumped * god trying to be funny * acolytes * The truth is never wrong * scorpion globe paperweights * consensus26. Lint Is Dead II-Rumours, Clues, and Lost WorksStoked * preferably in velvet * liars invade verdant Eden * sightings * Jellypressure * the subtle game * cults and fan clubs * the future as a statue in a fountain * Lint's dreamers27. The Man Who Gave Birth to His ArseSaddled * scrubbing tombstones * don't thank the shark * the claymore principle of creation * savouring regret * The Vermilion Equation * intravenous cheats * for I am the way * new coloursLint quotationsFootnotesBibliographyIndexList of IllustrationsAcknowledgments
Steve Aylett is the prolific author of Slaughtermatic, Atom, Toxicology, The Crime Studio, Shamanspace, Only an Alligator, The Velocity Gospel, Dummyland, Karloff's Circus, Bigot Hall, the Tao Te Jinx, The Inflatable Volunteer and Fain the Sorcerer.
Although not nearly as well known as Philip K. Dick, Jeff Lint led a bizarre life and enjoyed a prolific but wildly uneven literary career that was eerily similar to that of the famed cosmonaut of consciousness. In this mock biography, Aylett, a Philip K. Dick Award finalist for Slaughtermatic, considers Lint a true revolutionary, noting that in Lint's story "about a hotel of which each floor is located in a different year-creaking floors seem to foreshadow the structure's [both the hotel's and literature's] collapse into postmodernism." Some of Lint's pithy quotes might have emerged from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary: "Civilization is the agreement to have gaps between wars.Pain is God trying to be funny.The Devil is God found out." While reviewing Lint's life and work, Aylett also analyzes and satirizes pulp fiction, science fiction, Hollywood, and American culture from the 1940s through the 1990s. Aylett and Lint, who seems a virtual fictional character himself, are authors to be savored and celebrated. Highly recommended for both public and academic libraries and particularly for Dick aficionados.-Jim Dwyer, California State Univ. Lib., Chico Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Informed SF readers, particularly Philip K. Dick fans, will enjoy British author Aylett's laugh-out-loud (mock) biography of (fictitious) cult writer Jeff Lint, though the dense prose, rife with odd word juxtapositions, can be daunting. Aylett (Slaughtermatic) traces his subject's strange life from Lint's early days in the 1940s writing for the pulps (including Astounding, Baffling and Maximum Tentacles) to the rumors of his untimely death and beyond. Lint unsuccessfully dabbled in almost every genre imaginable: short stories, novels (Jelly Result), comics (The Caterer), cartoons and Hollywood screenplays (Nose Furnace). Lint's script for a never-made Star Trek episode, notable for its wild creativity and unfilmable special effects, led Gene Roddenberry to exclaim, "This isn't prose, it's gnats in formation!" Aylett doesn't shrink from providing revealing details of Lint's feud with rival Cameo Herzog, nor of Lint's habit of cross-dressing when he delivered his manuscripts, which he always did in person. Illustrations of such items as Lint jacket art and a page from his Star Trek script add to the fun. Agent, John Richard Parker at MBA (U.K.). (June 1) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
'Lint: in Steve Aylett, this clearly much misunderstood writer has found his Boswell, his Gilchrist, his Ackroyd. A cultural unearthing to equal those of Philip K Dick or Harry Stephen Keeler, this has to be the literary biography of the year. Highly recommended.' - ALAN MOORE, creator of "Watchmen" and "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" 'Steve Aylett is the most original voice in the literary scene. He is quietly changing the rules and bringing fresh life to contemporary literature. Give him your attention. He will reward you enormously - and make you laugh like a drain.' - MICHAEL MOORCOCK 'More fun than any other mock author biography on the face of this or any other planet' - Bookmunch