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I'm Just No Good At Rhyming
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Table of Contents

  • Chapter - 1: The Abdominal Snowman
  • Chapter - 2: Alphabet Book (by the Laziest Artist in the World)
  • Chapter - 3: The Argument
  • Chapter - 4: The Child's Farewell
  • Chapter - 5: Chocolate for Breakfast
  • Chapter - 6: A Cold-Air Balloon
  • Chapter - 7: The Cyclops Just Got Glasses
  • Chapter - 8: Deep in the Land of Ca'narot
  • Chapter - 9: Disneyland Had Nothing on This Place
  • Chapter - 10: The Door
  • Chapter - 11: The Duel
  • Chapter - 12: Eight
  • Chapter - 13: Even the Butterfly
  • Chapter - 14: Fight Fire with Fire?
  • Chapter - 15: The Frog Race
  • Chapter - 16: The Gecko
  • Chapter - 17: The Good-Child Test
  • Chapter - 18: Good Things
  • Chapter - 19: Grown-Ups Are Better (I)
  • Chapter - 20: Grown-Ups Are Better (II)
  • Chapter - 21: Grown-Ups Are Better (III)
  • Chapter - 22: Hey, Kids! Get Your Parents to Read You This Poem!
  • Chapter - 23: Hey, We Finally Found Someone Who Knows That Story About the Snail Who Saved San Francisco!
  • Chapter - 24: How the Fourth-Grader Communicates
  • Chapter - 25: How to Designate an Ungulate
  • Chapter - 26: The Hungry Giraffe
  • Chapter - 27: I Am Not Even Going to Talk About This Next Thing
  • Chapter - 28: I Don't Like My Illustrator
  • Chapter - 29: I Love Quiet
  • Chapter - 30: The Ice Cream Mondae
  • Chapter - 31: If You Ever Have to Memorize a Poem of Twenty Lines or Longer and Deliver It to Your Class, Then This Is a Pretty Good Choice
  • Chapter - 32: I'm Always Happy in My Room
  • Chapter - 33: I'm Just No Good at Rhyming
  • Chapter - 34: I'm Old for My Age
  • Chapter - 35: I'm Shy on the Outside
  • Chapter - 36: The Incredible Bargain
  • Chapter - 37: The Incredible Story of the Day the Glistening City of San Francisco Was Saved from Certain Destruction by a Lowly Snail
  • Chapter - 38: Infinity Poem
  • Chapter - 39: The Invisible Horse
  • Chapter - 40: The Island Where Everyone's Toby
  • Chapter - 41: Jack Makes a Fatal Strategic Blunder
  • Chapter - 42: Jack Sprat (Updated)
  • Chapter - 43: Jigsaw Puzzle Difficulty Chart
  • Chapter - 44: Just Be Yourself
  • Chapter - 45: Just Because I'm a Turkey Sandwich and Some Chips Doesn't Mean I Don't Have Feelings Too, You Know!
  • Chapter - 46: The Last Time I Ever Went Down to Breakfast Without Making My Bed
  • Chapter - 47: The Latest Bedtime of All
  • Chapter - 48: The Lemonade Stand Stand
  • Chapter - 49: Let's Meet Right Here in Twenty-Five Years
  • Chapter - 50: The Little Hurts
  • Chapter - 51: Live Each Day Like It's Your Last
  • Chapter - 52: The Loser's Cheer
  • Chapter - 53: L-O-V-E
  • Chapter - 54: Luck
  • Chapter - 55: The Monster Under My Bed Instead Is Dead
  • Chapter - 56: Moral: If It's Not Your Magic Wand, Leave It Alone
  • Chapter - 57: My Dessert Tummy
  • Chapter - 58: Never Switch Your Laundry Detergent with Your Dishwasher Detergent
  • Chapter - 59: The New Bad Word
  • Chapter - 60: Nothing Is Impossible (The Teacher and the Child)
  • Chapter - 61: Nothing Rhymes with Duthing
  • Chapter - 62: The Nursery Rhyme "Little Boy Blue", With Some Words Replaced by Delicious Greek Food
  • Chapter - 63: The Old Woman Who Lived in Achoo
  • Chapter - 64: On My Intentions of Expanding My Experiences Eating Garden Cuisine, with an Approximate Time Frame Included
  • Chapter - 65: On the Other Hand, They Both Hate Dandelions
  • Chapter - 66: The One-Eyed Orr
  • Chapter - 67: Out on the Farm on a Saturday Night
  • Chapter - 68: The Parent's Response
  • Chapter - 69: Picture Puzzle!
  • Chapter - 70: The Poem That's Titled "The Door"
  • Chapter - 71: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled `The Door'"
  • Chapter - 72: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled `The Poem That's Titled "The Door"'"
  • Chapter - 73: The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled `The Poem That's Titled "The Poem That's Titled `The Door'"'"
  • Chapter - 74: The Race
  • Chapter - 75: The Remarkable Age
  • Chapter - 76: Re-verse
  • Chapter - 77: Roller Coaster + Earthquake = ?
  • Chapter - 78: The Rules of "TIC"
  • Chapter - 79: Sally the Centipede Gets Her Shoes On to Take a Walk with Her Mum
  • Chapter - 80: The Secret of My Art
  • Chapter - 81: A Short Saga
  • Chapter - 82: The Shortest Anaconda in the World
  • Chapter - 83: Somebody Stole My Bagel's Hole
  • Chapter - 84: Sometimes I Don't Want to Share
  • Chapter - 85: The Sweetest Lullaby Ever (for Parents to Tell Their Children)
  • Chapter - 86: Ten Ginormous Hippos Jumped on a Bed
  • Chapter - 87: 'Tis Better
  • Chapter - 88: Toasted Knight for Lunch Again?
  • Chapter - 89: Trapped!
  • Chapter - 90: Two Roads
  • Chapter - 91: Under My Dragon's Wing
  • Chapter - 92: Unfair Riddle #1
  • Chapter - 93: Unfair Riddle #2
  • Chapter - 94: Unfair Riddle #3
  • Chapter - 95: The Unipede
  • Chapter - 96: The Valleys Shape the Mountains
  • Chapter - 97: The Way We're All the Same
  • Chapter - 98: What? You Think I Have a Bad Memory?
  • Chapter - 99: What Happened to Us Monsters? (The Mummy's Lament)
  • Chapter - 100: The Whydoo Inside You
  • Chapter - 101: The World's Best Offer
  • Chapter - 102: Worst. Birthday Party. Ever.
  • Chapter - 103: Yes Means No and No Means Yes
  • Chapter - 104: Yesterday's Tomorrow
  • Chapter - 105: You'll Never Feel as Tall as When You're Ten

About the Author

Chris Harris is a writer and executive producer for How I Met Your Mother and a writer for The Late Show with David Letterman. His pieces have appeared in The New Yorker, Esquire, ESPN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and on NPR. He lives in Los Angeles. Lane Smith is the creator of It's a Book, It's a Little Book, Grandpa Green and A Perfect Day. In 2017 he won the CILIP Kate Greenaway Medal for There Is a Tribe of Kids. Lane Smith and his wife, the designer Molly Leach, live in a small town in rural Connecticut, USA.

Reviews

Highly recommended. I think it will make children wriggle with delight * Stephen Fry *
I'm just no good at describing how wonderful this book is. Smart and sweet, wild and wicked, brilliantly funny - it's everything a book for kids should be. -- BJ Novak, author of The Book With No Pictures
I am a grown man and this book made me laugh out loud. When I was a kid, this was the kind of book that made me want to make comedy. -- Jason Segel, actor, screenwriter, producer, star of How I Met Your Mother
Chris Harris is one of the funniest, sharpest, cleverest (not a word) writers I've ever known (and I'm not just saying that because we share a last name). This book made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I can't recommend it enough -- Neil Patrick Harris, actor, author, star of How I Met Your Mother

There once was a poet named Chris,
Whose book is quite hard to dismiss,
His poetry skill
Gives me quite a thrill
And it's hard to write poetry, particularly if it's supposed to rhyme or fit into a certain rhythm, and if you don't believe me, take a look at this.

-- Lemony Snicket, author of A Series of Unfortunate Events
Chris Harris is a poet and everyone should know it! Love this book! -- Andrea Beaty, author of Rosie Revere, Engineer
A frolicking romp through the zany world of nonsense verse...wildly imaginative and cleverly illustrated. The inspired and inspiring sense of play knows no bounds. * Kirkus *
Hits a poetry trifecta: high energy, rhymes that can rival Cole Porter's, and a torrent of ideas.... A worthy heir to Silverstein, Seuss, and even Ogden Nash * Publishers Weekly *
Those who claim to hate poetry will enjoy this riotous compilation.... Fans of Ogden Nash, Shel Silverstein, and Jack Prelutsky will rejoice in finding another member of their gang. Smith matches Harris's wit with his own zaniness.... A surefire winner * School Library Journal *
A magnificently wacky romp through verse... This moving, madcap anthem to language is sure to stand the test of time * Booklist *
The best poetry book of the year * The BookBag *

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