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How Not to Be a Professional Footballer
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About the Author

Paul Merson was born in Brent, London in 1968. He won two League Championships, an FA Cup, a League Cup and a European Cup-Winner's Cup during his 12 years as a legend of Arsenal, before his surprise transfer to First Division Middlesbrough in 1997. He was instrumental in Boro gaining promotion to the Premiership in 1998/99, but left the club less than a month into the new season to join Aston Villa for GBP6.75 million. After five years with Villa he moved to Portsmouth in 2002 and was key in helping Pompey achieve promotion to the Premier League in 2003. Paul then played for - and managed - Walsall before finally retiring in 2006 after more than 600 appearances and 126 goals in a glittering career which also brought 21 England caps. Merson is now a panellist on SkySports' iconic weekend football results show, Soccer Saturday.

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Some of The Merse's one-liners: "The lad's like a fish up a tree." Translation: that player looks a little lost and out of his depth "It's a worldy strike." Translation: that is a world class long-range goal

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