Introduction What Is Social Anxiety (And How Do I Know if I Have It?) Why Get Help? How Can I Help? How to Get the Most out of This Book Born This Way? My Story Contributing Factors: There was more than one Chapter 1 - Thoughts & Beliefs The 2 Prison Fences Wanting Someone Else to Fix You Acceptance Without Judgment: I stopped beating myself up I Changed the Words I Was Using to Describe My Condition I Focused More on the Solution (and Less on the Problem) I Took My Power Back (The victim mentality) Hi Im Tobi and I Aim to Please (People pleasing) You Do You & Ill Do Me (People will always judge) I Stopped Accepting Other Peoples Opinions as Fact Are You a People Pleaser or Approval Seeker? Who Am I? (Get clear on exactly who you are) Are You an Honest Person? Why Do I Care so Much What Others Think of Me? Are You a Mind Reader? Perfectionism: I let go of my need to be perfect Accept Yourself (Flaws and all) I Choose to Feel Good Self Love (I learned how to love myself) I Stopped Looking for My Worth Outside of Myself (Self love, Part 2) Unhelpful Beliefs (Knock out the kingpins and the rest will fall) I Started Challenging My Limiting Beliefs Reframing Negative Beliefs The Deadly I am Disease Beliefs Exercise Its Not the Event That Hurts: Its the Meaning We Give to the Event I Stopped Taking Things so Personally (Not everything is about me) Watch Your Mouth! (I worked on my self-talk until my worst enemy became my best friend) Your Thoughts Are Not You Predicting the Future (Worst-case scenario thinking) The Man in the Mirror (Self-image) Self-Image Exercise Visualization: The blueprint to becoming the person you want to be Visualization Exercise I Remembered My Good Points and Wins I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others Search Your Feelings Luke I Chose My Company More Wisely Give Thanks EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) What to Do When Youre Feeling Anxious or Self-Conscious (This is what I did) Irrational Fears Easier Said Than Done Summary Chapter 2 - Actions & Exposure Social Situations (How avoiding social situations contributes to social anxiety & how to overcome it) You Need to Have a Strong WHY We Learn by Doing There Will Always Be Pain The Uncomfortable Comfort Zone Courage: The #1 confidence builder Fear of Failure: Processing failure and rejection the right way Conversation Techniques & Social Skills Things Will Be Different Now (You have the mental tools) Confidence Comes From Practice Rationalizations & Hidden Excuses: Are you lying to yourself to justify your avoidance behaviors? I Stopped Making Excuses The Negative Spiral of Avoidance I Held Myself Accountable Deathbed Exercise Social Confidence Building Exercises: Some of the Ways I Became More Social Designing Your Own Social Exposure Plan It Has to Be a Regular Thing Take It in Baby Steps & Celebrate the Small Victories I Let Go of the Outcome You Win Some, You Lose Some: Either way, people dont care Keep Seeing the Big Picture: Its a gradual process, not an On-Off switch Momentum Is Your Best Friend Right Action Over Emotion: I made a commitment to be sociable, regardless of how I was feeling Summary Chapter 3 - Healthy Diet Lifestyle & Diet Play a Huge Part Antidepressants Xanax Natural Antidepressants Alcohol Recreational Drugs Healthy Eating Chapter 4 - Lifestyle Choices I Cut Out Stress from My Life I Turned off the News and Stopped Reading Internet Comments Exercise - I went to the gym 30 Mins of Sunlight and Nature Every Day I Decided to Work Fewer Hours I Began Meditating Every Day Living a Balanced Life In Closing Further Guidance
My life has been full of ups and downs. I am a living proof that you can overcome your biggest fears and achieve anything you want in life as long as you just have the courage to take the first step and not give up. I spent most of my teens and twenties depressed, lonely and on strong antidepressants. By age 27, I had given up on ever overcoming my social anxiety & shyness. Jesse Krieger was born and raised in San Francisco but spends three to four months a year traveling the world. Whether it's climbing volcanoes with friends in the Mediterranean or consulting with clients from Malaysia to Manhattan, Jesse views the world as both a playground and a potential addressable market.