A revolutionary new way to cultivate healthy, happy long-term relationships using techniques and principles developed from the latest research in positive psychology.
SUZANN ("Suzie") PILEGGI PAWELSKI, MAPP,is a freelance writer
andwell-being consultantspecializing in the science of happiness
and its effects onrelationships and health. She has a Master of
Applied Positive Psychology degree from the University of
Pennsylvania.Her 2010Scientific American Mindcover story, "The
Happy Couple," was the catalyst for this book. Suzie blogs for
Psychology Today and writes the "Science of Well-being" column
forLive Happy, where she is also a contributing editor. Previously,
she directed award-winning media relations campaigns for Fortune
500 clients and workedin publicity at Radio City Music Hall andas
an associate producer for HBO Downtown Productions andThe Joan
Rivers Show.
JAMES PAWELSKI, Ph.D., is Professor of Practice and Director of
Education in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of
Pennsylvania, where he cofounded the Master of Applied Positive
Psychology (MAPP) program with Martin Seligman. The Founding
Executive Director of IPPA, he is currently leading a three-year,
multi-million-dollar grant investigating connections between the
science of well-being and the arts and humanities. An international
keynote speaker, he has presented in more than 20 countries on 6
continents. He is frequently featured in the media, including
theNew York Times, U.S. News and World Report, Philadelphia
Inquirer,andThe Today Show.
Together, Suzie and James regularlylead Romance and Research (TM)
workshops around the world.
"An authoritative, engaging guide to being happy together! Filled
with personal stories, practical recommendations, and scientific
research from positive psychology!"--Angela Duckworth, New York
Times bestselling author of Grit, Founder and CEO of Character
Lab, and Christopher H. Browne Distinguished Professor of
Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania
“Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski provide practical,
evidence-based advice about how each of us can make the most out of
our romantic relationships. Intimate relationships can be the
source of lasting joy or excruciating heartache depending on how
they’re managed. Happy Together is the definitive guidebook on how
to navigate this most important aspect of our lives. I wish I
would've had this book 20 years ago. Read it… you can thank me
later.”--Larry King, Peabody award-winning television and radio
host
"Happy Together is one of the most powerful books on
relationships I have ever read. Loaded with ideas and research,
this book unlocks the keys to building a healthy relationship that
will strengthen both partners and create more well-being for many
others in the process!”--Tom Rath, #1 New York Times bestselling
author of StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Are You Fully
Charged
"Suzie and James masterfully show that happily ever after doesn’t
come from a perfect, problem-free life. Rather, it comes from
knowing how to adapt with your partner to the range of joys and
adversities we all experience. Weaving together empirical
research, philosophical wisdom, and real-life examples, Happy
Together demonstrates the central importance of emotional
agility for romantic relationships—and shows you how to cultivate
it with your partner."--Susan David, #1 Wall Street Journal
Best-Selling author of Emotional Agility, Co-founder of the
Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and Psychologist at
Harvard Medical School
"Suzie and James beautifully weave ancient wisdom with modern
research, personal stories with universal truths, the art of love
with the science of love. Relationships are potentially the number
one predictor of happiness. This book can help you to realize--to
make real--this potential. Read it, together or alone, read it
now."--Tal Ben-Shahar, New York Times bestselling author
of Happier and Being Happy and Harvard
University lecturer
“I loved it! Happy Together is a pioneering book filled
with helpful advice and engaging exercises that will make your
relationship stronger and more fulfilling. Every couple needs to
read it!”—Jon Gordon, Wall Street Journal bestselling author
of The Energy Bus and The Power of Positive
Leadership
“I believe the main purpose in life is to grow in our capacity to
give and receive love.
Happy Together is a must read for anyone seeking this purpose in
their romantic relationship.”--Marci Shimoff, #1 New York
Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason
“Falling in love is easy. Falling in love with the right person is
harder. And staying in love is harder still. But it's possible. In
their clear, engaging, and thoughtful book, Suzie and James
Pawelski combine the wisdom of Aristotle with the empirical
research of modern psychology to show us how. Combining poignant
anecdotes (including many tales from their own relationship),
research findings, and lots of very practical advice, in Happy
Together, the Pawelskis provide both a "how to" and a "why to"
guide that will help people nurture and sustain lasting loving
relationships. It takes work to stay in love, but it's worth the
effort, and Happy Together is a luminous roadmap for that
effort.”--Barry Schwartz, bestselling author of The Paradox of
Choice, Why We Work, and Practical Wisdom with
Kenneth Sharpe
"With the high-level perspective of decades in the field of
happiness, and the intimate understanding of the challenges of
long-term intimacy from their own relationship, Suzie and James
Pawelski have created an accessible playbook for anyone seeking
what we all seek: deep and meaningful love that lasts. Together,
they teach us that there is no quick fix to happiness together—nor
should there be. Rather, with a little bit of work and a lot of
will, there is indeed a way to bring out the best in ourselves and
those we love most. You'll be happy you read this
book."--Larry Smith, creator of the Six-Word Memoir project and New
York Times bestselling book series
“A philosopher, a psychologist, and a journalist walk into a bar.
Grab your partner and walk in after them! Because as this book
shows, what they know can help you live happily ever after.”--Yakov
Smirnoff, comedian, actor, and writer
“As a movie producer, I’m well aware that movies can contribute to
the illusory simplicity of ‘happily ever after,’ but movies can
also show us that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished without
effort. The movie hero who wants to achieve something has to do
something, to take action over and over again in order to reach his
or her goal. Suzie and James have written a book that gives us
science-based steps to take to accomplish that ‘happily ever after’
and to show couples how to become the heroes of their own love
story – from first kiss till death do them part.”--Lindsay Doran,
producer of “Sense and Sensibility” and “Nanny McPhee”
“Reading Happy Together is like a visit to a romantic
relationship gym. The book is a beautifully written guide on how to
use the principles of positive psychology to develop and to enhance
intimate relationships. The authors, both positive psychology
experts, also frankly share their own marital experiences to show,
rather than tell, couples how to grow together. This book will make
an imaginative gift to any couple planning on making a life
together or wishing to enhance an already established
relationship.”--George E. Vaillant M.D., Professor of Psychiatry at
Harvard Medical School and author of Triumphs of
Experience
“If your marriage occasionally disappoints you or is not quite up
to your expectations, the Pawelskis bring advice from the field of
positive psychology to help you enrich your relationship.
Recognizing the strengths of both partners, savoring and gratitude,
and knowing that love is an action verb are highly related to the
most rewarding partnerships. The authors offer both an excellent
description of how to improve one's relationships, and also
exercises to practice these activities.”--Ed Diener, leading
positive psychology researcher and Gallup senior scientist
“Wishing for your happily-ever-after is never enough. Thankfully,
science can step in to offer real hope. Happy Together is an
accessible guide that can help any couple cultivate positive
emotions rather than just wish and wait for them. Take it to heart
and use the science of well-being to create a lifetime of happiness
together.”--Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., author of Love 2.0 and
Positivity
“In this groundbreaking book, Suzie and James Pawelski explore the
how of being happy together. Based on scientific research, framed
by ancient wisdom, informed by their own insights and experience,
and presented in a clear and engaging style, their book is a
practical and powerful guide to building love that lasts.”--Sonja
Lyubomirsky, Professor of Psychology, University of California,
Riverside, and author of The How of
Happiness and The Myths of Happiness
“There’s no more fitting, knowledgeable or loving couple than Suzie
and James to share with the world how to achieve and experience the
“happily ever after” we’ve all dreamed about. They detail with wit,
warmth and personal examples how a romantic team is at its best
when each player helps the other reach his or her highest
potential. The Pawelskis’ insightful application of positive
psychology and accessible style make Happy Together a
‘must-have’ on my list of key resources in the space.”--Deborah K.
Heisz, Co-founder, CEO, and editorial director, Live Happy
“The Pawelskis have done the seemingly impossible: They have shown
us how to realistically build long-lasting love, despite
the inevitable hardships of
relationships. Equipped with the tools of positive
psychology and the philosophy of Aristotle, you will be able
to have relationships that are deeper, wiser, more mutually
inspiring, and of course, happier.”--Scott Barry
Kaufman, Director of the University of Pennyslvania's
Imagination Institute and author of Wired to Create
"Suzie and James have knocked it out of the park with a practical
guide to lasting love. I highly recommend this book to anyone who
wants to know the real keys to a happy, fulfilling relationship,
backed by years of research."--Valorie Burton, bestselling author
of Successful Women Think Differently and Happy Women Live
Better
“Actually DO what this book presents and you will no doubt elevate
the most important aspect of your life—your loving
relationships.”--Neal Mayerson, Ph.D., Chairman, The VIA Institute
and President, Manuel D. and Rhoda Mayerson Foundation and The
Mayerson Company
“Happy Together presents a powerful case for 'finding and
feeding the good in ourselves and our partners' to build
satisfying, sustainable relationships. I especially enjoyed the
exercises included throughout the book. This message aligns
perfectly with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where
we consider positive relationships a crucial and primary food
for health and happiness.”--Joshua Rosenthal, Founder and Director,
Institute for Integrative Nutrition
“It has arrived – your relationship gym! Happy Together is an
artful, intelligent, and user-friendly integration of the best
science to improve your romantic relationships. If every new couple
read and followed the insights and exercises in Suzann Pileggi and
James Pawelski’s new book, relationship therapists would be out of
business and flourishing relationships would become the norm. Our
romantic relationship can be our source of greatest tension or our
wellspring of greatest strength. Pileggi and Pawelski show us we
can choose the latter by creating synergies of relational character
strength through savoring, passion, strengths conversations, and
much more.”--Ryan M. Niemiec, author of Character Strengths
Interventions and Mindfulness and Character Strengths, Education
Director of the global VIA Institute on Character
"Couples the world over fall in love and then fall into normality
and taking each other for granted. Many relationships wither and
some die. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As this book so
powerfully shows, we can all learn how to retain the vitality
in our relationships and make them thrive. Suzie and James
beautifully demonstrate through scientific research and
engaging anecdotes that the true joy of a good
relationship is to value one another, grow as
individuals, and become stronger together. This book will change
lives for the better."--Sir Anthony Seldon, author, co-founder of
Action for Happiness, and Vice-Chancellor of the University of
Buckingham
“What do you get when a master teacher of positive psychology and a
successful journalist fall in love, marry and start a family?
The answer to this riddle is, Happy Together, an inspiring,
engaging and practical book on how to develop, deepen and enrich
intimate relationships. Melding empirical research, personal
experience, and narratives of couples, Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and
James Pawelski and have written the first major work on the
application of positive psychology to love, intimacy, and how to
build an enduring and deeply satisfying relationship. This
book speaks to couples looking to enhance their relationship,
clinicians working with individuals and couples and anyone who
wants to know how successful relationships really work.”--Richard
F. Summers, MD, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Senior
Residency Advisor, Perelman School of Medicine of the University of
Pennsylvania, author of Psychodynamic Therapy: A Guide to
Evidence Based Practice and Positive Psychiatry: A Casebook
“Happy Together is about real magic, not the kind that you read
about in fairy tales, but the magic that comes from one of the most
powerful experiences in the world, the unconditional acceptance of
another human being. Romantic love is easy, common, and all too
fleeting. Happy Together is about something much more important,
the kind of bond that sustains us through joy and sorrow both, the
alchemy that turns passionate lovers into partners for life. If
you’ve ever suspected that there must be a secret to a happy
relationship, you were right. The secret is here. It’s essential
reading if you want to stay connected for good.”--Michael Baime,
MD, Director, Penn Program for Mindfulness, University of
Pennsylvania
“This superb book, by one of the most popular couples in positive
psychology, meshes strong science with clear applications and sound
exercises. It is a must read for all of us who want to better
understand our romantic relationship and how best to improve
it.”--Robert J. Vallerand, Ph.D., author of the award-winning
book The Psychology of Passion, Canada Research Chair on
Motivational Processes and Optimal Functioning and Professor of
Social Psychology, Université du Québec à Montréal
“The science of positive psychology can guide and inform
powerful interventions and applications. Happy Together
is a must-read exemplar of how to use
evidence-based positive psychology principles to improve
one of the most powerful predictors of happiness and
well-being—our most significant relationships.”--Stewart
I. Donaldson, Professor of Psychology and Community & Global Health
at Claremont Graduate University, Editor of Scientific Advances in
Positive Psychology and Applied Positive Psychology: Improving
Everyday Life, Schools, Work, and Society
"This pioneering, important book is must reading for any couple
that wants proven ways to enhance passion, love and long-term
stability. It takes grit to weather the challenges that occur in
any marriage, but these positive psychology leaders have given us
new tools and fresh evidence to help us survive and thrive in
'green cape' relationships."--Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP, author
of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit
“Happy Together is my kind of book: it convinces me with research,
inspires me with stories, enlightens me with quizzes, and
motivates me with exercises to be a better man and a better
husband. I’m using it cover to cover in my own relationship—and
recommending it to everyone I know!”-- David J. Pollay, bestselling
author of The Law of the Garbage Truck and founder of
PollayCoaching.com
“Reading Happy Together is like having husband-and-wife team Suzann
and James Pawelski as your personal trainer for your marriage or
future healthy relationship. Talk about packed with
thought-provoking and action-focused relationship exercises! You
can do these on your own or with your partner to learn how to
cultivate the REAL "happily ever after."--Margaret H. Greenberg,
MAPP, and Senia Maymin, PhD and MAPP, bestselling authors of Profit
from the Positive
“Happy Together, the first book to apply the science of positive
psychology to romantic relationships, is a true gem. The message
given to us by husband and wife team, Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and
James Pawelski, is that keeping love alive requires effort. The
good news is that the type of effort they suggest we put in happens
to be a naturally enjoyable kind of effort. Suzie and James show us
how playing to our strengths, expressing gratitude and savoring—all
fun things to do in their own right—help to build passion and deep
love with our partners. This book will enrich and enliven the
relationship you have with that someone special.”--Lea Waters,
Ph.D., author of The Strength Switch, President,
International Positive Psychology Association, Gerry Higgins
Chair of Positive Psychology, University of Melbourne
"For anyone in a relationship or looking for a relationship, Happy
Together is a must read. Using research and real-life examples,
Suzie and James Pawelski explore what it really means to live
happily ever after. This is not your typical “couple’s therapy”
book—it is packed with illuminating and often counter-intuitive
insights about how to find and build love that lasts. Read it with
a highlighter in hand—there is actionable advice and timeless
wisdom on every page. I am going to prescribe it to every couple I
know.”--Samantha Boardman, MD, Weill Cornell Medical College
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