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The Empty Ones
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1977 was a bad year for Carey: The NYC summer was brutally hot, he barely made rent on his apartment, and most of his friends were butchered by a cult that worships the quantum angel he helped give birth to. He needs a vacation. You know where there s supposed to be a killer punk scene? London. Oh, plus the leader of the aforementioned murderous cult is building an army there in an attempt to solve the world, once and for all. Time to mix business with pleasure. Along the way, maybe he ll make some friends that won t try to kill him, or even meet a nice girl who eats angels for supper and can kick a man in half. 1978 is looking better already 2013 was a bad year for Kaitlyn, too: LA was distinctly unkind to her aspirations towards a career in stunt work, she hooked up with her childhood crush a B-list celebrity heartthrob named Marco and he turned out to be an immortal psychopath trying to devour her soul, and she accidentally killed the angel Marco and his bizarre cult worshipped. Now she s on the run through the American Southwest. She heard Marco s filming a new show in Mexico, though, so all she has to do is cross the border, navigate a sea of acidic sludge monsters, and find a way to kill an unkillable monster before he sacrifices her and her friends to his extra-dimensional god. Nobody said a career in the entertainment industry would be easy.Following on the heels of his hilarious and horrifying novel The Unnoticeables, Robert Brockway s The Empty Ones is like any good punk band: just when you think it can t get any louder, they somehow turn it up a notch. It s terrifying and hilarious, visceral and insane, chaotic and beautiful.The Unnoticeables is a nightmarish and hilarious tour through modern-day Hollywood, the 1970s New York punk scene, and Robert Brockway s own diseased mind. David Wong"
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About the Author

Robert Brockway is a Senior Editor and columnist for Cracked.com. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife Meagan and their two dogs, Detectives Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh. He has been known, on occasion, to have a beard. He is the author of Everything is Going to Kill Everybody, The Empty Ones, and The Unnoticeables.

Reviews

Praise for The Empty Ones "[R]eads like a collaboration by Hunter S. Thompson, the Sex Pistols, and H.P. Lovecraft . . . 'mostly bravado, lies, and perversion, ' which perfectly sums up the gutter-dwelling vibe of this novel." --Publisher's Weekly Praise for The Unnoticables "Like Hunter S. Thompson went drinking with Stephen King." --Publishers Weekly "Brings [Cracked]'s legendarily irreverent wit to this raunchy, rollicking tale of punk rock, gruesome horror and pop-culture satire." --NPR "A nasty, freaky, and haphazardly funny horror story." --Kirkus Reviews "The Unnoticeables is pure science fiction horror lurking behind the wry smile of a punk rocker in beer-stained blue jeans. Brockway writes confidently and with an utterly original voice, delivering a rude, smart, and at times terrifying story that I guarantee you've never seen before." --Daniel H. Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of Robopocalypse "Deliriously unhinged in the best way possible. Fantasy that is fast, funny, and downright freaky." --Chuck Wendig, bestselling author of Blackbirds "A visceral blend of brutality and cunning: bloody, innovative, and wildly compelling." --Cherie Priest, bestselling author of Maplecroft

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