Henry Fersko-Weiss, LCSW, is executive director of the International End-of-Life Doula Association. In 2003, Henry created the very first End-of-Life Doula Program in the US at a hospice in New York City and has built many other programs based on his model. His work has been featured in the New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and elsewhere. He is on the faculty of the Open Center's Art of Dying Institute. Visit him at www.inelda.org.
This is a pitch perfect, accessible book on an otherwise
inaccessible subject. Just what the world needs right now. Mr.
Fersko-Weiss points us to all sorts of ways to find meaning at the
end of life, or ways to create it. His beautiful and poignant
stories can be used as road-maps, not only for clinicians, but also
for patients, family members, or caregivers who wish to stay
connected through to the end of life. --BJ Miller, MD, Assistant
Clinical Professor of Medicine at UCSF and attending specialist for
the Symptom Management Service of the UCSF Helen Diller
Comprehensive Cancer Center-- "Reviews"
STARRED REVIEW: Fersko-Weiss, founder of the first End-of-Life
Doula program in the U.S., defines the core features of this
powerful framework for supporting the dying and their families,
modeled on the compassionate care services that birth doulas
provide. Moreover, he offers guidance for anyone hoping to engage
the approaching death of a loved one with grace and intention. With
Buddhist calm and a sense of thoughtful presence, Fersko-Weiss
shares the core tools doulas use to help the dying approach ego
integrity by reflecting, exploring meaning, and addressing
unresolved conflict, while also helping them choose the
surroundings that make them feel comforted and appreciated.
Approaches such as creating a legacy project and planning the vigil
can help family members process fear and allow closeness to
continue until the end. Although not structured as a guidebook,
enough detail is included that families without access to a doula
could successfully use many of the ideas on their own. Warm stories
of client experiences give permission to imagine a death
experienced with as much humanity as the rest of life, with
profound results for everyone affected by the event. Fersko-Weiss's
perspective is a desperately needed reminder of the value of facing
life's most difficult transitions with open eyes and hearts.
--Publishers Weekly, (Mar. 2017)-- "Reviews"
A thoughtful and instructive text on how doulas can help people die
as they would wish and a guide for families as they cope with what
may be the most stressful period of their lives. Illustrated by his
actual cases and those of fellow doulas, Fersko-Weiss has created a
useful resource for consumers and professionals dealing with the
complicated topic of death and dying. --Don Pendley, director of
hospice and palliative care at the Home Care and Hospice
Association of NJ-- "Reviews"
An extraordinary contribution to the care of the dying. Through
story and instruction, Henry Fersko-Weiss offers his great wisdom
on how we can offer meaningful care that can not only ease an
individual's dying but provide consolation to family and friends as
they cope with grief and loss. --Kenneth J. Doka, author of Grief
is a Journey-- "Reviews"
An inspired and practical guide on accompanying those on the
precipice of death. Henry reaches into his years of experience in
leading doula trainings to provide the reader with invaluable
tools. He focuses in on the essential non-medical elements that
really matter like deep listening, sitting vigil, establishing a
calm and receptive environment and facilitating meaningful rituals.
Lots of wisdom in these pages. --Frank Ostaseski, author Five
Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living
Fully, founder of the Metta Institute and co-founder of the Zen
Hospice Project-- "Reviews"
An inspiring and moving collection of end-of-life scenarios
illustrating how we can face life's final passage with dignity and
thoughtfulness. Fersko-Weiss provides a glimpse at the true meaning
of a good death. Essential reading for anyone who wants to create a
meaningful experience for themselves or someone they care about.
-Fredda Wasserman, co-author with Norine Dresser of Saying Goodbye
to Someone You Love: Your Emotional Journey Through End of Life and
Grief-- "Reviews"
As a pioneer in the work of improving end-of-life care, Henry
Fersko-Weiss has written a remarkable book. Drawing from decades of
work with the dying, Fersko-Weiss offers up stories and insights as
he humbly chronicles his own journey of crafting a much-needed and
innovative approach to end-of-life care. Caring for the Dying is
medicine for a world where far too many of us experience
'unfortunate' deaths. A must read. --Amy Wright Glenn, author of
Birth, Breath, and Death: Meditations on Motherhood, Chaplaincy,
and Life as a Doula-- "Reviews"
Caring for a loved one and witnessing the dying process is both an
act of courage and a privilege--as painful as the process might be.
This book, Caring for the Dying, can make all the difference in
appreciating the process, recognizing through the many stories how
natural death is, and helping ultimately to heal and move forward
from loss. --Judy Tatelbaum, LCSW, grief therapist and author of
The Courage to Grieve and You Don't Have to Suffer-- "Reviews"
Essential reading for all of humanity. Caring for the Dying is life
changing in how we view and care for our loved ones as they prepare
for their death. Henry's touching stories pull the curtain back to
give you an intimate look at what is possible at the end of life.
--Debra Pascali-Bonaro, DONA International doula trainer--
"Reviews"
Henry's calm, practical, and pioneering book is an excellent guide
for those wishing to learn how to be a doula for the dying, whether
formal or informal, which will certainly also make them an
inspiration for the consciously living. This book should be taken
up with great relief to guide us from now, while vibrantly alive,
and certainly at the time of transition. --Robert A. F. Thurman,
Jey Tsong Khapa professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies at
Columbia University and author of Infinite Life and Man of Peace--
"Reviews"
In Caring for the Dying, Henry Fersko-Weiss brings the reader into
his personal journey in supporting a meaningful way of death and
dying and his evolving work in the end-of-life-doula movement. The
principles and techniques of an end-of-life doula are interwoven
with Henry's experiences in a way that makes this book
inspirational and helps lessen the mystery and fear of death for
any reader who wishes to face their own death with less fear and a
focus on meaning. --Kris Kington-Barker, executive director of
Hospice of San Luis Obispo County-- "Reviews"
There is an abundance of literature on death and dying, but there
is little that can compare with the poignancy, compassion and
wisdom that Henry Fersko-Weiss brings to the subject. Drawing on
his vast experience as a death doula, he offers practical
information and inspirational anecdotes that serve to guide others
in the art of being present and caring for the person who is dying.
Midwifing death in this way honors the dying person, their life and
their legacy. A godsend for anyone who wishes to prepare for their
own death or midwife the death of someone they love. --Michael
Barbato, MD, retired palliative care physician, researcher,
teacher, and author of Midwifing Death-- "Reviews"
This book describes an approach to end of life care that might best
be described as witness. The doula program described here provides
skilled, compassionate, mindful presence to people at the end of
life and their loved ones, helping guide them to an experience of
dying which affirms their lives and enriches the lives of those
left behind. I wish all patients had access to this amazing
program. --Leslie Blackhall, Section Chief for Palliative Medicine
and Associate Professor of Medicine at the University of Virginia
School of Medicine-- "Reviews"
This brave, reassuring book succeeds at eliminating the negativity
surrounding death, reframing what seems like a passive, painful
experience as an active journey that 'captures the concentrated
fragrance of a person's life, its sweetest flavor.' - Rebecca
Foster, Foreword Reviews-- "Reviews"
This is a lovely contribution to the growing field of care for the
dying--and the dying person's loved ones--with both wisdom and
compassion. Arising from the author's intimate experience at the
end of life, it offers a caring sensitivity well worth considering.
--Kathleen Dowling Singh, author of The Grace in Dying, The Grace
in Aging, and The Grace in Living-- "Reviews"
This title, the first of its kind, makes a compelling case for
end-of-life doula care for the dying and their loved ones.
Long-time practitioner Fersko-Weiss also discusses techniques and
practices for readers who want to have a more peaceful, meaningful
death experience. --Library Journal, December 2017 issue: BEST
BOOKS OF 2017-- "Reviews"
What inspires Henry's eminently practical book is his well-informed
insight that we can live and die knowing that we are part of a
larger inclusivity. In vigiling, in legacy work, in his guidance on
deep listening, Henry teaches us that our living and our dying
weave us to one another. --Marco Mascarin, PhD, RP, co-founder of
the Contemplative End of Life Care program at the Institute of
Traditional Medicine-- "Reviews"
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