About the Author

Val Cale is a self-confessed lunatic who is perpetually up to his eyeballs in dementia. He's worked just about every job you could imagine but these days has decided that working just Isn't for him. He was born ass-first in a hospital in Cork city, Ireland in 1971 but is now proud to have no fixed abode and fewer possessions than you could shake a pint of Guinness at. Val's been travelling the world for the last ten years, He's lived in Japan, Taiwan, India and the Middle East amongst a myriad of other strange lands. He subscribes neither to organised religion or politics but is a true believer in chaotic madness and a connoisseur of illicit hors d'oeuvres. Val takes a size eleven shoe and smokes in the bath. His favourite pastime is is "doin' it doggie style" and his pet hate is "scraping off his knob cheese". If he had three wishes he'd vie for "world peace, the eradication of stupid wankers from the face of the earth and a never-ending pint of the blackstuff".