Erica Komisar, LCSW is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for the last 25 years. A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Ms Komisar is a psychological consultant bringing parenting and work/life workshops to clinics, schools, corporations and childcare settings including The Garden House School, Goldman Sachs, Shearman and Sterling and SWFS Early Childhood Center. She lives is New York City with her husband, optometrist and social entrepreneur Dr. Jordan Kassalow, and their three teenage children.
“A must-read for young women struggling with the inner conflict
between mothering and career-making. Komisar brilliantly distills
the potency of present mothering from her experience as a
psychoanalyst and parenting coach. She also evokes the emotional
pain of babies and toddlers when their mothers are often absent or
inattentive and the ‘wormhole to adolescence’ where all those
unresolved losses will be replayed at a more punishing
stage. I only wish that I and many driven career women of my
early feminist generation had read this essential guide before we
sacrificed Being There to proving ourselves in a man’s
world.”
--Gail Sheehy, author of Passages and DARING: My
Passages
“Being There is a terrific and very timely book that is much
needed as our country is dealing with an epidemic of
emotionally troubled children, adolescents, and mothers.
Well-written and researched with excellent documentation from
respected experts in this field, it should be read not only by
current and prospective mothers and fathers, but also by those
who care for young children in a variety of settings.”
--Thomas McInerny MD, FAAP, Past President of the American Academy
of Pediatrics
“It’s hard to believe but the United States is actually behind,
well behind, the rest of the world in maternity leave policy.
We all, not just the mothers, fathers and children pay dearly for
this. In this book, Erica Komisar provides hard headed and
practical advice for families and policy makers. It is a rare
and valuable contribution to the field.”
--Leslie H. Gelb, President Emeritus, Council on Foreign
Relations
“It should not take a psychoanalyst to explain the importance of
maternal love and support in the formation of a child, but Erica
Komisar in her book Being Theredoes just that, cutting through
the head-spinning Mommy Wars that have haunted this generation of
parents. Her challenging assessment that absent and distracted
mothers leave their children forever less happy will upset apple
carts and give many over-taxed young parents pause, but she
accompanies her tough medicine with realistic tools and strategies
to help caregivers meet their challenging task. Komisar's book is
difficult, but necessary reading for any parent-to-be.”
--Eric L. Motley, Ph.D, Executive Vice President, The Aspen
Institute
"Being There is a mindful and honest approach to both the joys and
challenges of motherhood. This must-read guidebook for
stay-at-home and working mothers shows us how to be present not
only for our babies but for our lives."
--Mary T. Cantwell, Co-Director, Garden House School of New
York
“Here’s the problem. That beautiful baby doesn’t arrive with a
how-to manual in his chubby arms and I’d come to believe that there
is no right way to bring up a child. But along comes Erica Komisar,
a warm and experienced psychoanalyst, with the key to the puzzle of
how to achieve two things at once: a kid set to become a happy,
emotionally secure person and a mother who is effective and
fulfilled. It happens, simply, by “Being There” most of the time
throughout the first three years of a baby’s life. If you
think this isn’t for you, just read this book and think again.
Nobody said it would be easy.”
--Marilyn Berger Hewitt, broadcast journalist, contributing writer
Washington Post and New York Times and author of This is a Soul
“Timely and highly informative. Using the direct voices of the most
important scientists in the field, Erica Komisar describes in clear
and compelling fashion the foundational events of the early years,
an unparalleled time of growth of the baby’s right brain that is
indelibly shaped by the maternal relationship. In addition to
providing practical and very personal information to the reader on
how to be ‘the best, most present mother she can be,’ this gifted
psychotherapist also offers controversial political implications of
advances in the developmental sciences for the mental and physical
health of future generations. This rich amalgam of science,
clinical wisdom, and common sense represents a Dr. Spock for the
twenty-first century, and is quite simply the best book I’ve ever
seen on this absolutely essential topic”.
--Allan N. Schore, Ph.D., Department of Psychiatry and
Biobehavioral Sciences, University of California at Los
Angeles David Geffen School of Medicine
“Being There is a courageous, bold and invaluable book that
challenges us to consider our roles as mothers. Erica Komisar has
written a beautiful book that pushes the reader to consider how to
be the best possible mother she can be while supporting her through
the process.”
--Carly Snyder, M.D., Host of the weekly radio show MD for Moms
“The beauty and practical value of Ms. Komisar’s book is that she
gives specific suggestions on how women can be more emotionally
present for their child regardless of their career, financial
constraints and the amount of time they can spend with their
children. A must-read for both parents, mental health professionals
and childcare policy makers.”
--Dr. Ellen Jacobs, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist,
Adjunct Professor at the Columbia University School of Social
Work
“Solid research and easy-to-follow advice…because American society
has moved so far away from accepting mothering as a crucial job,
it’s quite welcome.”
--Kirkus Reviews
“Offers sound, warm guidance.”
--Publishers Weekly
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