50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems


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A hilarious and brilliant poetry collection from bestselling poet and Twitter laureate, Brian Bilston.

Table of Contents

Chapter - 1: Kick-Off Chapter - 2: Football Is... Chapter - 3: Pick Me! Chapter - 4: Trevor Chapter - 5: An Educated Left Foot Chapter - 6: Formations Chapter - 7: The Laws of the Game Chapter - 8: Wonderkid Chapter - 9: The Intergalactic Super Cup Final Chapter - 10: Fifty Ways to Score a Goal Chapter - 11: Fifty Slow Motion Replays Chapter - 12: The Language of Football Chapter - 13: Keepie-Uppies Chapter - 14: On the Bench Chapter - 15: The Thing about Wingers Chapter - 16: A Suggestion Chapter - 17: O.G Chapter - 18: Total Football Chapter - 19: Football Haikus: Starting Chapter - 20: Matchday Chapter - 21: A Cautionary Tale Chapter - 22: Early Morning Goalkeeping Routine Chapter - 23: A Shaggy Dog Story Chapter - 24: Lucky Bobble Hat Chapter - 25: Honest Football Chants Chapter - 26: Transfer List Chapter - 27: Fixtures Chapter - 28: League Table Chapter - 29: A Football Squad of Collective Nouns Chapter - 30: Half-Time Orange Satsuma Chapter - 31: A Poem of Two Halves Chapter - 32: A Ball Speaks Out Chapter - 33: The Magic 18-Yard Box Chapter - 34: The Ballad of Dick, Kerr Ladies FC Chapter - 35: Season's Greetings Chapter - 36: Acrostic Town FC: Matchday Squad Chapter - 37: In Pursuit of Glory Chapter - 38: Ten Ways to Avoid Passing the Ball to Anybody Chapter - 39: FIFA Chapter - 40: Two Varieties of Potato Chapter - 41: Unsung Hero Chapter - 42: It All Came Out in the Wash Chapter - 43: The Magic Sponge (TM) Chapter - 44: And the Award Goes to . . . Chapter - 45: Match of the Day Theme: Official Lyrics Chapter - 46: Kit Chapter - 47: On Being Left Out of the England World Cup Squad Chapter - 48: Messi vs Ronaldo Chapter - 49: Life Cycle of a Football Manager Chapter - 50: Every Day is Like a Cup Final Chapter - 51: Back of the Net Chapter - 52: Gabriel Gomez, Number 543 Chapter - 53: End of Term Report Chapter - 54: Dangerous Dave Damage Chapter - 55: The War on Cliche Chapter - 56: Penalty Shoot-Out Chapter - 57: Today's Results Chapter - 58: Question Time Chapter - 59: Until the Final Whistle Blows Chapter - 60: Post-Book Analysis

About the Author

Brian Bilston has been described as the Banksy of poetry and Twitter's unofficial Poet Laureate. With over 100,000 followers across all social media platforms, including J. K. Rowling, Roger McGough, Ian Rankin and Grayson Perry, Brian has become truly beloved by the Twitter community. His poetry collection, You Took the Last Bus Home, was published by Unbound. His first novel Diary of a Somebody was shortlisted for the Costa Prize and his collection Alexa, what is there to know about love? is full of poems about love in all its forms.

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