5.0 out of 5 based on 4 reviews. – Customer review on 20/01/2009

This is such a good book, I have recommended it to all my friends with babies and children. It has information on all aspects of child-rearing, and science to back up its claims. For example, the startling new discoveries, that, shock horror, leaving your baby to cry itself to sleep is NOT harmless, the elevated cortisol levels it induces damages the baby's brain irreparably and leaves them destined for problems later in life, from anxiety to full blown depression. The author is the head of the The Centre for Child Mental Health in London and this book is based on over 800 studies! It's the cutting edge of scientific research and is invaluable. Other issues in the book are discipline, tantrums, the importance of love and hugs, how to talk to your child, crying and separation, the trying times, sleep and bedtime, "the chemisry of living life well", and a section about looking after you, which is really good and not just the usual 'take some time out with a good book ' nonsense. I highly recommend this book, I urge you to get this book!

3.0 out of 5 based on 4 reviews. – Customer review on 11/07/2010

This is a parenting book, as opposed to a science book, with all the benefits and pitfalls inherent in that. The style it is written in is quite accessible, though the tone tends to be a little emotive for my tastes. Some of the pet phrases she used really irritated me but I could see how they would get across her scientific ideas in a way that speaks to a mother, rather than repeatedly using big scientific words.

I found I had to read this book in quite an aware way. At times I was trying to discern scientific fact from scientific theory as it wasn't always obvious. Many of the conclusions drawn are from studies on extreme cases, such as studies on extreme maternal deprivation, criminals and the severely emotionally disturbed. Some of the assertions were based on the theories of one or two specific scientists, rather than accepted theory from longitudinal studies. I don't think in all cases such conclusions are as important as Sunderland makes them out to be and in some cases they can be quite alarmist, especially to vulnerable first parents.

This book seems to be written for ease of access on specific topics. It has bullet point summaries and big boldface quotes, much like a magazine; this can lead to it being somewhat repetitive if you are reading it from cover to cover.

I really appreciated the information on the positive physiological effects of mother-child bed sharing and the insistance that a child's emotional needs should be met by responsive and communicative parenting rather than baby training and controlled crying techniques.

It seemed to me to be rather at odds with the first chapters of the book when it came to the discipline sections and there were guidelines for Time-Outs and other similarly psychologically destructive punishments. I found that the view of children was a little inconsistent as it was hard to tell when the author would advocate being responsive to a child's needs or when she would think it appropriate to train a child out of a behaviour regardless of its needs. I think it's telling that the author occasionally refers to a child as naughty, which is an un-helpful label from my perspective and doesn't fit with my parenting style. It might work for others, but if there is any part of this book that I would take with me for my parenting strategy it is not from this section of the book.

In the last section of the book there are some strategies for parental self care which are designed to help you get on top of your body's own natural chemistry. Again, a lot of this is simplified information and more often given as guidelines without precise explanations. This is probably a good thing to make the information accessible; if you want good information about nutrition for mental health there are better places to go to get the information, but this is fine for a general parenting manual.

This is the sort of book for which the phrase "take what you can use and ignore the rest" was invented. The first sections were ideal for people who are "Attachment Parenting".

5.0 out of 5 based on 4 reviews. – Customer review on 19/01/2010

An absolutely fantastic book that I recommend to any parent.

This book presents scientific facts about child development in an easy to read and digest way - perfect for dipping into as you need. If you have doubts about cry-it-out and other similar approaches to child rearing, this book will explain how they impact on a child's development and how a more loving and flexible style will pay off with a happy and healthy child.

Covers from birth up - I know I will continue to consult this book as my baby grows. There are no hard and fast answers to the many questions that all parents have, but that's basically because each baby is a unique individual - there is no 'one size fits all' approach for bringing up a baby!

5.0 out of 5 based on 4 reviews. – Customer review on 19/07/2009

It's fantastic! I recommend it to every parent who wants their children to do well in life!

I wonder why the research discussed in this book is not more widely spread.

I also wonder why there is still controlled crying and strict schedule imposed onto infants which is even encouraged by some doctors and childcare nurses.